Merry Christmas!

“Christmas can be celebrated in the school room with pine trees, tinsel and reindeers, but there must be no mention of the man whose birthday is being celebrated. One wonders how a teacher would answer if a student asked why it was called Christmas.”
― Ronald Reagan

“Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves.”
Eric Sevareid

[Source]

Anguished Repose wishes you and yours a very Merry Christmas!

Anguished Bible CliffNotes: Genesis – Chapter 1

OK…

I had an idea for a new posting theme:

The Bible, CliffNotes & You Me

Religion.

Christianity.

One of the most debated topics of our time.

OK, that should probably read “ANY” time.

And debated by some people? Who just make the topic uncomfortably awkward for all involved…

Or in the near vicinity.

What do I mean by awkward? Oh, I mean that they will often argue their faiths merits to an atheist (i.e. an individual who will NEVER be convinced, so really what is the point other than giving yourself a migraine?) till their last dying breath. While some of these ” true believers”, they are? Uh…Very zealotty at times.

Wait, is that even a word? Hmm.

Sad thing is though, when it comes to some specific types of Christians and their zealotty behavior? Well, the “uncomfortable” part comes in when one realizes EEK! they just haven’t actually, you know, read the bible. Cause that’s crazy talk! I mean, have you seen that thing?

It’s HUGE.

The bible is long, and well, worded kind of weird. Not to mention? Long parts of it are filled with lists and lists of names, and measurements of tabernacles, robes and the placements of potted ferns. Come on, who needs to know that crap?

Seriously? No one does. Not to mention?

Boring.

What do lists of names and measurements have to do with us—more importantly, ME—getting into heaven?

When it comes to Christians actually reading the bible, fact of the matter is very few people who CLAIM to be Christian, (aside from the quotes taken from what they hear in church on the occasional Sunday, when they can drag their non-devout butts out of bed, after drinking it up in the bar the Saturday before) actually know what is in it.

And boy, let me tell you?

These zealotty, don’t-know-what-the-heck-they-are-talking-about-because-they-failed-to-read-the-one-book-they-just-love-to-preach-about, Christians?

Have no idea what wonders they are missing.

The bible is freaking F A N T A S T I C !!!!

And what we are talking about here, people is, to quote Disney:

‘Phenomenal cosmic powers…itty-bitty living space.’

To say that a lot goes on in this book? Understatement.

I personally love the thing. I have read it? Numerous of times. Darn good book, people…Darn good book!

It covers the beginning of “it all” and goes all the way to the end.

The very end.

As in “close the book, this world is OVA!” type of end.

And as if that wasn’t enough, the bible is also filled with entertaining goodness such as miracles, murder and general mass mayhem.

What’s not to love about that?

But, as a whole, I understand the bible can be a rather imposing, intimidating book. Especially for all of those of you out there who reading is hardhaven’t picked up a book since your graduated high school.

Reading?

Yeah, it’s hard.

*shakes head sadly*

So, tell you what… We’re going to do this together.

I’ve got a blog, I’ve got the time and heck…Why not?! Like I said, I enjoy the good book. So, breaking it down for you, showing you how I see it? Doesn’t hurt me one bit.

Together, you & I, are going to read the bible.

*gasp*

And we are going to do it in a way that is fun, entertaining and hopefully educational in a way, where, when you go back and go all zealotty on the next atheist you meet? You will hopefully know what you are talking about, a little bit more, instead of just pretending like you do.

How does that sound?

Good?

Good.

Now, before we get stated just know I am NOT changing anything that can be found in the bible.

In that regard, I am a copy and paste girl. Yes, yes… I fully admit I am about to plagiarize the bible utterly.

So, if the author doesn’t like it, He can sue me to his heart’s content. But, seeing as He already has my soul, not sure what else He can get from me that’s worth diddly, so we are all good there on that score, I think, He & I.

I mention this, only because, for those of you that have not yet read the bible, some of its content may surprise you.

The bible? Yeah, it can get pretty crazy.

It is rife with an abundance of violence & sex, even shockingly to the point where acts of incest, for example, are not only excused…In certain, necessity-to-continue-the-family-line instances? They are celebrated.

Yikes.

See? Craziness.

But let us not get ahead of ourselves.

The way this mutual Biblical journey will go? Consider me Virgil, to your Dante, if you will. (And if you do not know whom I am referring to, thanks to that whole “reading is hard” thing I mentioned above? Shame. On. You!) Along with every section of the bible that you will read, my cliff note comments will be paired to help guide you seamlessly, if not humorously, along the way with a bit of perspective.

And let me be clear…It’s MY perspective. So, if you don’t like it, don’t agree with, thinks it’s stupid? Don’t read it. Simple enough.

Sound like a plan?

OK.

Meh…Maybe not a good plan, but right now it’s all we got. Want to get through one complete reading of the bible? No worries, friend, we are going to do it together.

If this posting theme is successful & popular, I will post chapters as I get them finished on a regular basis. A basis which might be awhile, again, cause like I said, the bible is LONG. Very long. Especially the Catholic version, which has a couple of added chapters tossed in for good measure. (Hello, Book of Judith–Looking at you!)

So…

If you are ready, people…We have a long, educational, crazy-fun journey ahead of us.

Without further adieu, lets get to zealotting!

genesis ch 1 part 1

genesis ch 1 part 2

genesis ch 1 part 3

I have always thought that the reason why most people have not read the bible, is because it is not very relatable to them. They see it as an old, very dry read & for some? That makes it just not worth the effort.

I have ALWAYS seen the good book, as a book much worth the effort. Especially? If it can be made to be a bit more approachable for the overall masses.

For me? Humor does that.

And generally, every time I read the bible? My thoughts (as reflected in the cliffnotes above) on what I am reading, are often nothing if not humorous. So…I make the attempt with this posting theme to share those.

With this theme, thus far…

What do you think of my ABC’s theme, featuring the chapter one of the Book of Genesis?

Worth Continuing?

‘Likes’ hold the future of any ABC’s theme postings in its hands, so please…

If you would like ABC’s to continue?

Like away!

Txs.

News Mash: What’s in the box?

Well…

Honestly?

Depends on who’s asking.

And just to show how such a question could vary wildly in degree?

Here is the Jesus box:

[via io9]This ancient burial box contains the earliest known reference to Jesus ~George Dvorsky

After a 10-year investigation and criminal trial, an Israeli antiquities collector has been cleared of forgery charges. That means the modest limestone burial box pictured above — an ossuary inscribed with the earliest-known reference to Jesus – is the real deal.

This ancient burial box contains the earliest known reference to Jesus

Back in 2003, skeptics questioned the authenticity of the box, claiming that the owner, Oded Golan, had forged the mention of Jesus. He was arrested and charged with forgery. He’s now been cleared of those charges after a thorough analysis of the artifact. Golan plans to put the box on display in Israel. It has not been seen in public since it was briefly displayed in Toronto in 2002.

Chiselled on the side are the words, “James, son of Joseph, brother of Jesus.” The inscription is written in Jewish script and was done using a sharp instrument.

The Guardian explains:

James the Just was the first leader of the Christians in Jerusalem after the Crucifixion. He was executed for apostasy by the local rabbinical court.

At that time, Jews were not buried but laid in a cave. The bones were collected after a year and placed in an ossuary. Thousands have been discovered, some of them inscribed with names to identify whose bones they contain. One other ossuary mentions a brother.

“This is the oldest evidence that mentions the name of Jesus Christ,” said Golan, who bought the box in the 1970s but did not realise its significance until Sorbonne professor Andre Lemaire noticed it in Golan’s collection. Lemaire published his findings in 2002 and the ossuary was briefly displayed at a Toronto museum, causing a worldwide sensation.

…[Read More]

And…

Now?

The Oh-My-Jesus-A-Walking-Box-And-This-Is-Why-We-Are-All-Going-To-Die Box!

(Well, OK, its technically called a ‘cube’, but look it up…Same thing as a box smart***)

[via MentalFloss]Cubli: A Balancing, Walking Cube ~Chris Higgins

From the “What Sorcery is This?!” department comes Cubli, a robotic cube that can “jump” and balance on a corner (!). It can also perform a controlled fall, which gives it the rather creepy ability to “walk” by jumping onto a corner, falling onto a face, and repeating the process. Behold:

Uh. I, for one, welcome our new cube robot overlords.

…[Read More]

See?

Wildly varying.

Boxes.

Who knew they offered such choices, eh?

what's in the box [Source]

News Mash: What did Jesus look like then as compared to now? Hmmm…Think ‘Superman’!

If you’re a Christian?

Oh, you’ve asked it…

“Just what was Jesus like?”

This man (below)…

Has his ideas:

[via The Blaze]What Did Jesus Christ Really Look Like? ~by Billy HallowellWhat Did Jesus Christ Look Like?

What did Jesus Christ really look like?

Sure, we have the familiar image that is presented in paintings, film and television — the long-haired man with a beard, light skin and brown hair. But, is this accurate?

We really can’t know for sure, but blogger and Crossway vice-president Justin Taylor put together a thought-provoking article over at The Gospel Coalition dissecting this very subject.

Taylor began by sharing the information we do know about Jesus — all of which, of course, comes from dissecting the Bible. To begin, Christ was likely in his early 30s during his short-lived ministry. As for the issue of long hair, the blogger cites 1 Corinthians 11:14, which reads, “Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him.”

While this was not a statement from Jesus, himself, Taylor seems to conclude that the verse, written by Paul, showed a disdain for males donning this type of hairdo. This presents some intriguing questions. Among them: If long hair truly was not in the equation for Christ, then does the Shroud of Turin — which features a man who seems to have long hair — have any legitimacy (read TheBlaze’s coverage of the religious relic)?

The notion, though, that Christ had a beard is supportable, Taylor maintains. The Bible doesn’t explicitly confirm this, but it would not have been unreasonable at that time.

“It’s fair to assume that Jesus had a beard, in light of first-century Jewish culture and tradition — though Scripture doesn’t say this explicitly,” he wrote, noting that, “Isaiah 50:6 says the suffering servant, ultimately exemplified in Jesus, has his beard plucked out, but the NT doesn’t cite this.”

Jesus’ skin tone, Taylor argues, would have been darker in nature (i.e. olive color), considering that most of his time was spent outside.

Perhaps most intriguing is the argument that Jesus was not stunningly handsome — at least not according to the Bible and Taylor’s view on the book’s contents. The blogger explains: “Isaiah’s messianic prophecy suggests that there was nothing unusually attractive about him (“he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him,” Isa. 53:2)—though it’s taking it too far to say that he was thereby unattractive or homely.”

Taylor, of course, isn’t the first person to wonder what Christ looked like. While most of us likely have the images we’ve all repeatedly seen emblazoned in our minds, there’s no definitive indication that these are accurate (and, as noted, they likely include some questionable features).

…[Read More]

Oddly enough?

I didn’t see anything in the above description talking about red and blue tights, with a cape…

When describing Jesus.

Though some Superman fans…

Make that comparison.

[via Metro]Man of Steel: The top 20 reasons why Superman is Jesus ~by Ross McD

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s Jesus. Everyone knows Superman is just a thinly veiled treatise on the life of the Son of God, but by Kryptonite does new Supes movie Man of Steel hammer that message home. Well, Jesus WAS a carpenter. I caught up with director Zack Synder in Los Angeles to find out why Kal-El has so much religious baggage.

THE TOP 20 REASONS WHY SUPERMAN IS JESUS:

1. He has a beard

2. His dad has a beard

3. He has superpowers

4. His dad has superpowers

5. His dad sent him to Earth to save humanity

6. ‘He’ll be a god to them’

7. He was sort of born in a stable

8. His adoptive father is a humble tradesman

9. None of the neighbours seem to wonder why his ‘mom’ never got pregnant

10. Some humans were a bit of a dick to him

11. But he didn’t use his superpowers to kick their asses

12. Can walk on water

13. Betrayed by some guy for money

14. Willingly sacrifices himself for the good of mankind

15. Is exactly 33-years-old at the time

16. Mortal enemies with an evil dude with a goatee

17. Likes to chat with Catholic priests in churches

18. Punches Darwinites who believe ‘evolution always wins’

19. That whole crucifix pose when he busts out of Zod’s ship

20. Friends with Batman

According to director Zack Snyder, this isn’t the first time the above comparison has been made.

‘I think the relationship between Jesus and Superman is not a thing we invented in this film, it is a thing that has been talked about since the creation of Superman,’ he said, speaking to us from Warner Bros studios in LA.

‘And in a weird way, probably was talked about more when Superman was created than it is now. It’s one of those things mythologically you take for granted, a little bit.

…[Read More]

Gonna be honest?

I get the comparison.

Though for me?

far more in the reverse…

After all?

Jesus Superman

Jesus was here first, dudes.

And because he was?

Yes, he should totally get dibs on the “Superman” title.

After all…

He IS the original.

News Mash: If Good and Evil Exist, God Exists…But what about the Jedi Church?

It has been argued and shall be forever more:

That God…

Is the ultimate source of morality:

176,632 in England, however?

Oh, they pretty think that the ultimate source of morality is…

The Force.

Making it the most popular faith in the “other religion” category on the Census and the 7th most popular religion overall:

[via Telegraph] The new figures reveal that the lightsabre-wielding disciples are only behind Christianity, Islam, its a religionHinduism, Sikhism, Judaism and Buddhism in the popularity stakes, excluding non-religious people and people who did not answer.

Following a nationwide campaign, Jedi made it onto the 2001 census, with 390,127 people identifying themselves a decade ago as followers of the fictional Star Wars creed.

Although the number of Jedis has dropped by more than 50 per cent over the previous 10 years, they are still the most selected “alternative” faith on the Census, and constitute 0.31% of all people’s stated religious affiliation in England and Wales.

The latest official population survey also revealed 6,242 people subscribe to the Heavy Metal religion, which was set up in 2010 by the Rock magazine, Metal Hammer.

The number of people specifically identifying as Atheists was 29,267, while over 13.8 million refused to identify with a faith at all, ticking the “No religion” box on the census form.

…[Read More]

Many religious people, Christians, Islamist, Hindus, Jews and Buddhists  will be totally insulted by this…

Taking it as a personal slight (for some weird reason) at THEIR religion.

And atheists will scoff.

But if we are going to be fair and honest…

Just what exactly IS the definition of religion, eh?

re·li·gion

[ri-lij-uh n] noun

1.

a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially [but not wholly]  when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
2.

a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects: the Christian religion; the Buddhist religion.
3.

the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices: a world council of religions.
4.

the life or state of a monk, nun, etc.: to enter religion.
5.

the practice of religious beliefs; ritual observance of faith.

Sorry devoutly religions peeps…

If one considers the actual definition of religion?

Yeah…

The Jedi Church definitely fits.

Then again?

So does atheism.

For it too?

Is a belief system…

A belief system of non-belief, sure, but nevertheless it’s still a belief system, which is practiced, and strenuously adhered to, by the practitioner.

In other words?

Yeah…

It’s *gasp* still a religion.

So…

Scoff at that.

Hmmm.

I’m just gonna tick off the devout on BOTH sides of this debate with this one, aren’t I?

Probably.

*shrugs*

What can I say…

I like to keep it balanced.

Bring it.