nomnomnom

News Mash: The future of ‘healthy’ meals? Not lovin’ it!

McDonald’s food?

Is NOT good for you.

Surprisingly…

Even McDonald’s knows this:

[via Boston.com]McDonald’s employee website warns workers away from its fast food ~By Deborah Kotz

In a strange bit of hypocrisy, McDonald’s internal employee website advises workers not to eat a fast-food cheeseburger and fries—pointing out that a subway sandwich is a healthier choice when eating out. The content was provided by a third-party vendor, according to CNBC which first reported on the site.

The McResource Line site—which can be accessed by the public after registering online—appears to steer McDonald’s employees away from eating where they work, though it doesn’t name the actual establishment.

“In general, avoiding items that are deep fried are your best bet,” the site advises on a page devoted to fast food tips. “Healthier choices include sandwiches that can be loaded with vegetables. Limit the extras such as cheese, bacon, and mayonnaise. Eat at places that offer a variety of salads, soups and vegetables to help maintain your best health.”

…[Read More]

Ironically enough?

What will be the ‘good for you’ food of the future?

Looks, and sounds…

A whole lot LESS appetizing:

[via DailyMail]Insect burgers, diabetes-treating lettuce and reinforced bread: How the burger of the future could be a HEALTH food

  • Purple tomatoes with anti-inflammatory properties have been developed, says Dr Emma Davies, writing in the magazine Science Uncovered
  • They can slow the development of some cancerous tumours
  • There is now lettuce that boosts the body’s production of insulin
  • Insects, which are very nutritious, are increasingly popular in restaurants

By Dr Emma Davies

The word schmeat – a form of meat produced synthetically from biological tissue – made it on to the shortlist for the Oxford Dictionaries’ word of the year.

nomnomnom

The word is rarely used, but its very inclusion in the shortlist reflects the long-term significance of the events that occurred in London in August, when the world’s first lab-grown hamburger – developed by a team at Maastricht University in the Netherlands – was cooked and served.

It’s a vital development, because current meat production methods are not sustainable and meeting global demand is becoming become increasingly difficult.

The United Nations’ Food and Agriculture Organisation estimates that demand for meat will increase by more than two-thirds over the next 40 years.

The Dutch scientists responsible for the first schmeat predict ‘cultured’ meats (ones grown artificially) could be commercially available within 10 to 20 years.

‘With the current technology, we can make the meat at a reasonable price and that will only come down as we improve the production process,’ says lead scientist Professor Mark Post. ‘There are still a few technical hurdles, but they require just work and time, and the outcome is reasonably predictable.’

Although the team say synthetic meat is biologically the same, it will need to replicate its appearance closely to tempt doubters.

Cultured beef is currently white, and coloured using beetroot. Professor Post’s team are now working on cultivating fat tissue and increasing levels of the pigment myoglobin, which gives meat its colour. This would offer a more authentic flavour and appearance.

But beef patties aren’t the only part of our diet to attract the attention of food scientists.

In the future, every aspect of a burger – from the bun to the relish – could be modified to make it more sustainable.

What’s more, it could even become something of a health food. The science is tantalisingly close to delivering, but any new GM foods would have to overcome a raft of regulations, particularly in Europe.

Creepy-crawly cuisine is coming

Insects are highly nutritious and heading to a dinner plate near you.

The idea of eating tangles of muscle from a Petri dish may be unpalatable to some. Even less appealing, however, may be the idea of devouring insects, deep-fried or otherwise.

Yet in restaurants from London to Sydney, insects are proving quite a hit with a niche audience keen to eat delights such as grasshoppers, locusts, crickets and scorpions (heat-treated, of course, to remove the toxins).

Insects actually form part of the traditional diets of at least two billion people worldwide, according to The Food and Agriculture Organisation (FAO) of the United Nations.

There’s no escaping the fact that they are good for you. A recent FAO report points to the benefits of eating insects.

…[Read More]

And since we are talking about McDonald’s food here…

And the “healthy” stuff above being a lot LESS appetizing?

Wow.

That’s saying something.

[Source]

real men eat less bacon

News Mash: Men, eat that bacon! And then women…Will rule the world!

As far as food fads go?

Few campaigns have been as successful…

As bacon.

Everything is better…

Right?

[via Wired]Math Proves Bacon Is a Miracle Food ~By Cliff Kuang

…[Read More – Read the article HERE!]

Well…

Apparently not.

Cause men?

Definitely NOT better with bacon.

And in fact?

Far, far LESS manly-men:

[via Medical Daily]Bacon Lowers Sperm Count: Couples Trying To Conceive Should Skip Bacon And Eat More Fish ~By Justin Caba

Research presented at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine’s 2013 Annual Meeting in Boston advises men to stay real men eat less baconaway from bacon and other forms of red meat if they are trying to conceive. While bacon tends to lower male sperm count, certain species of fish actually improve fertility.

“We found the effect of processed meat intake lowered quality and fish raised quality,” explained Dr. Myriam Afeiche from the Harvard School of Public Health (HSPH).

Dr. Afeiche, along with colleagues from Harvard University, recruited 156 men with infertility concerns who were enrolled in in vitro fertilization (IVF). Each participant and his partner were asked about their diet, including how often they ate processed meat, red meat, white meat, poultry, and fish, the Daily Mail reports. The research team found that men who ate less than half a portion of processed meat a day had 7.2 percent “normal” sperm, while men who ate half portion or more a day had just 5.5 percent.

…[Read More]

But wait a minute…

Ladies,  this newly discovered development could go in our favor.

Think about it:

Man loves bacon.
Man promotes bacon.
Man eats bacon…
Bacon destroys man.

Women rule the world.

nope weeps

News Mash: Eat those raisins, the nematode, Gongylonema pulchrum, dares you!

Everyone should aspire to obtain better eating habits.

It all starts with your “snack” foods.

And eating raisins?

You can’t go wrong!

[via DrJanet.com]10 Great Benefits of Eating Raisins

Feeling the urge to eat something sweet? Having a snack attack? How about reaching for a handful of raisins to satisfy that sweet tooth? Raisins are a great healthy substitute for candy or other kinds of “junk food.”

Raisins are made from dehydrated grapes; hence the nutrients become more concentrated in raisins. Let’s take a look at some of the benefits of eating raisins:

  1. A small box of raisins contains 34 grams of carbohydrates which make them a good source of instant energy.
  2. Raisins are very effective in promoting bowel health. Eating fiber-packed raisins on a regular basis can help keep you, well, regular!
  3. Eating raisins curbs the growth of harmful bacteria in the mouth and helps prevent cavities, gingivitis and tooth decay. If you have a sweet tooth, pop healthy raisins instead of teeth-damaging candy.
  4. Raisins contain a good amount of potassium and magnesium, two power minerals known to help lower blood pressure and reduce cholesterol.
  5. Raisins are a good source of calcium, the mineral that contributes to building and maintaining strong bones and protects against osteoporosis.
  6. Eating dried grapes helps prevent and treat arthritis and kidney stones.
  7. Raisins contain elements that have anti-bacterial and anti-inflammatory properties that protects body against infection.
  8. The presence of polyphenolic phytonutrients in raisins benefit your vision.  These powerful plant chemicals offer protection against macular degeneration, and cataracts.
  9. Raisins are a rich source of iron; a mineral that is essential for the production of hemoglobin in the body. People suffering from deficiency i.e. anemia can benefit from raisin’s high iron content.
  10. People who are underweight can benefit from eating raisins often to add healthy calories to the diet.

Raisins make for a quick and easy way to snack better. They are sweet, delicious and spectacularly healthy for your body. Next time you want a snack do your body a favor and reach for that little box of raisins.

…[Read More]

Hmm.

OK.

When it comes to eating raisins?

Check that.

You can’t go wrong!

Cause apparently?

Maybe you CAN!

[via Wired]How to Read a Scientific Paper (About That Researcher With a Nematode in His Mouth) ~By Deborah Blum

Too often we open a journal, scan the title of a scientific paper – for instance, “Gongylonema pulchrum in a Resident of Williamsburg, Virginia, Verified by Genetic Analysis” – and dismiss it. We think “Yeah, yeah, infection in a small Virginia town” – and turn the page.

Later we may regret that.

Later we may realize that if we’d actually read the paper– or at least read between the lines – we would have discovered a story worth our time. Perhaps the story of a biologist who pulled a nematode out of his cheek with a pair of forceps. Really good forceps, according to the paper: “#5 super fine tip, Roboz Surgical Instrument Co. Inc.” forceps.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. The forceps come later in the story.

Let’s rewind to September 2012. It was about then- according to this recently published report (paywall) in The American Journal of Tropical Medicine – that an “otherwise healthy, 36-year-old man” felt a rough patch in his mouth, a scaly little area his right cheek. It didn’t hurt. But then it didn’t stay there either. He started testing for it with his tongue. It traveled. It moved to the back of his mouth, then forward, coiled backwards again. In the language of science: “These rough patches would appear and disappear on a daily basis, giving the patient the indirect sense that there was an organism moving within the oral cavity.”

Or in the English language: “Yuck.”

In the interests of transparency, the science journalist confesses that “yuck” was her reaction. Not so for the scientist, apparently. As the paper also tells us, the patient was “coincidentally trained as an invertebrate biologist.” A little journalistic investigation finds that this is scientific code for “Jonathan D. Allen,” who is one of the coauthors of the paper.

Further investigation leads to a phone call with Prof. Allen. He works at the College of William and Mary’s biology department. He’s fascinated by crawly little lifeforms. “Yuck” never crossed his mind.

“Wow, this is really interesting,” thought Allen. And then 1) I hope it’s not fatal and 2) I hope it’s publishable. Although the journalist may have listed those in the wrong order. After all, Allen did email his colleagues with the subject line: “A paper in my mouth.”

In mid-December, as the paper tells us: “The patient was able to visualize the rough patch in the mucosa of his lower lip after migration of the worm towards the opening of the mouth.” In other words, in the midst of giving a final exam, Allen realized that the creature had journeyed to the front of his mouth. As soon as the exam was over, he rushed to the men’s room, pulled down his lip, and saw the coiling structure of a tiny worm-like creature just under the inner skin.

Was he thrilled? He took pictures (which you will find in the paper). He pulled down his lip to show his colleagues (those who would look). He took more pictures. He used the images to do internet research (yes, Google) and made a tentative identification of the creature in his mouth as a parasitic nematode best known for inhabiting the mouths of livestock.

And then he called his doctor. Who referred him to an oral surgeon. Who didn’t believe him.

Really.

Referring back to the paper: “Upon presenting the oral surgeon with photographic evidence (Figure 1A and B) and a detailed description and preliminary diagnosis of gongylonemiasis, the surgeon disputed the patient’s self-diagnosis, claiming this was simply normal discoloration of the skin.”

Referring back to my notes: “My jaw just dropped,” Allen said. But he couldn’t change the surgeon’s mind. “I said, ‘Look, I study these things for a living’. And he said, ‘Well, I look in people’s mouths every day.” The scientist and surgeon did not part on a happy note. “I paid my co-pay and left. It was totally depressing.”

And he stayed depressed – “I’d lost faith in the medical profession” – until he woke up about 3 a.m. the following morning. The spot had moved toward the front of his mouth again. He realized could remove the worm himself.

Of course, he needed help. No surgeon can work alone. He woke up his wife (Margaret Pizer, a communications specialist for Virginia Sea Grant) so that she could shine a flashlight in his mouth. With those #5 super fine tip Roboz Surgical Instrument forceps, he gently scraped the lining of his mouth until he was able to pull out the nematode. It came coiling out, a little less than an inch in length. It was not a happy parasite. “It was writhing.”

His surgical assistant wasn’t too thrilled either. “She said, ‘That’s really gross’.”

Referring to the paper: “The living and highly active parasite was transported to the patient’s research laboratory at the College of William and Mary.”

Referring to my notes: Still in his pajamas, Allen hurried to campus. He had the live parasite in a vial, floating in his spit. When he got to the lab, he took further measurements and then dropped it into a container with an ethanol solution to preserve it.

And referring one more time to the paper (the one you should have stopped and read): “The long transparent worm was readily identified as a nematode belonging to the genus Gongylonema.”

Allen discovered that he was the 13th known human in the United States to be infected by the nematode. He’s still trying figure out how he acquired his companion – he speculates that the worm could have been in his wellwater or in something he ate…

possibly in a box of raisins.

…[Read More]

Dang and blast.

And just damnitsomuch

I just HATE when the internet ruins the way I think about things I love to eat.

Of course, it is only POSSIBLE that raisins were the cause of the parasite the dude had to use a pair of forceps to remove…

FROM HIS MOUTH.

But still, ‘possible’ is enough to make me now view a box of raisins with dread-filled revulsion of NOT wanting something living, squirming around inside the skin of my mouth.

Yikes.

How about you?

Raisins anyone?

nope weeps [Source]

Salmonella outbreak

News Mash: The fact that it’s not really chicken, could be a good thing!

If you are a fan of McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets…

The recent discovery that they actually contain LESS than 50% chicken?

Can definitely be seen as a bad thing:

[via io9]Scientists reveal chicken nuggets are less than 50% chicken meat ~Robert T. Gonzalez

A recently published study reveals that striated muscle is “not the predominate component” in the nuggets from two national fast food chains. In other words: chicken nuggets are less than 50% chicken meat. But… then… what “components” make up the other 50+ percent?

that's not chicken
Top photo by Stéfan via flickr

“Fat was present in equal or greater quantities along with epithelium, bone, nerve, and connective tissue,” write University of Mississippi researchers Richard deShazo, Steven Bigler and Leigh Skipworth in the September issue of the American Journal of Medicine. “Chicken nuggets are mostly fat, and their name is a misnomer.”

Via Reuters:

The nuggets came from two national fast food chains in Jackson. The three researchers selected one nugget from each box, preserved, dissected and stained the nuggets, then looked at them under a microscope.

The first nugget was about half muscle, with the rest a mix of fat, blood vessels and nerves. Close inspection revealed cells that line the skin and internal organs of the bird… The second nugget was only 40 percent muscle, and the remainder was fat, cartilage and pieces of bone.

“We all know white chicken meat to be one of the best sources of lean protein available and encourage our patients to eat it,” lead author Dr. Richard D. deShazo of the University of Mississippi Medical Center in Jackson, said. “What has happened is that some companies have chosen to use an artificial mixture of chicken parts rather than low-fat chicken white meat, batter it up and fry it and still call it chicken.”

…[Read More]

However if you are indeed a fan of McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets…

Then there is a bit of good news!

Good news because now you know you have a less than 50% chance of contracting a salmonella outbreak…

Which frighteningly shows signs of being antibiotic resistant.

Yikes!

[via LATimes]Salmonella outbreak in chicken shows resistance to antibiotics ~By David Pierson and Tiffany HsuSalmonella outbreak

A salmonella outbreak in Foster Farms chicken contains several antibiotic-resistant strains that may explain an unusually high rate of hospitalization.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said Tuesday that some salmonella strains found in the outbreak were resistant to one or more drugs — and that 42% of those sickened have been hospitalized.

“That’s about double the hospitalization rate of a regular salmonella outbreak,” said Caroline Smith DeWaal, food safety director for the Center for Science in the Public Interest.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture issued a public health alert Monday linking some raw chicken products produced in California to a salmonella outbreak.

The agency’s Food Safety and Inspection Service found chicken produced by Foster Farms at three California facilities with strains of Salmonella Heidelberg.

So far, 278 illnesses have been reported in 18 states, with 77% of those cases occurring in California, according to the CDC.

The outbreak has sickened people ranging in age from an infant to 93 years old, the CDC said.

…[Read More]

So…

Looks like, McDonald’s Chicken McNugget fans?

You have the last laugh!

Of, course it’s a mostly, and extremely disgusting, fat-filled-with-blood-vessels-and-connective-tissue laugh, but still…

It’s a laugh.

So we’ll count it.

chicken mcmyster blah [Source]

Ya…

You?

made in my belly

Reactionary Animated Gifs – ABS is about to start complicating DWI traffic stops!

Scenario, coming to a traffic stop near you…

Officer pulls over a driver who is weaving all over the road.

Officer: Well, son…Been drinking some tonight, have you?

Man: No officer, I just had a hamburger. It made me drunk, I think.

Officer: Uh huh. Could you step out of the car, please.
[Source]
Man: No, really. I suffer from ABS, auto-brewery syndrome. It’s a thing.

Officer: Sure it is, son.

Man: Damnitsomuch. I knew I shouldn’t have asked them to ‘supersize it‘.

[via DailyMail]The human brewery: Tee-total Texan whose family feared he was an alcoholic cannot stay sober as his stomach turns food into ‘beer’

  • The 61-year-old suffers from auto-brewery syndrome
  • Blood tests showed he was five times over the limit but had not had a drink
  • His stomach turns starchy food like bread and pasta into beer

By Mia De Graaf

It is every man’s dream super power: to be able to magic beer out of nowhere.made in my belly

Imagine taking a piece of bread or a bowl of pasta and turning it into an ice-cold glass of the foamy tipple.

One man could tell them from experience that it is not all it is cracked up to be.

The 61-year-old Texan is a human brewery and try as he might, he cannot stay sober.

Suffering from auto-brewery syndrome, his stomach produces brewer’s yeast that goes into his blood stream, creating the exact same effect as beer.

He gets drunk the moment he wakes up, at church, at work, or out walking with his family.

Distraught, his wife could not understand how her husband managed to fit his drinking into the day without her even noticing.

Once he stumbled into a hospital in Texas complaining of dizziness.

Doctors laughed when he told them he hadn’t had anything to drink, despite being five times over the limit.

But they were astounded when gastroenterology tests showed his stomach uncontrollably brews beer.

…[Read More]

Traffic stops…

I have a feeling?

Are about to start getting a lot more complicated in the future.

Thanks to this report?

I can just SEE it…

Can’t you?

Jeez.

Darn straight Diet Dr P

Reactionary Animated Gifs – Artifically sweetened sodas are bad for me? Ok…Oops!

Drinking diet sodas is wrong…

And?

Potentially harmful to your health.

Yes, yes…

I know:

[via Medical Daily]Drinking Artificially Sweetened Carbonated Drinks ‘Leaves Sweet Taste Indistinguishable From Normal Darn straight Diet Dr PDrinks’ ~By

The next time you pick up that soda, you might want to think twice about whether or not it is really benefiting your health. Rather than looking into the damaging effects soda has on the body, researchers decided to look at how drinking soda affected the brain, and found that people who drink artifically sweetened sodas could be tricking their brains into thinking they are drinking more sugar sugar. How? It’s all in the carbonation.

“This study proves that the right combination of carbonation and artificial sweeteners can leave the sweet taste of diet drinks indistinguishable from normal drinks,” study author Rosario Cuomo, an associate professor of gastroenterology at the university, said in a statement. “Tricking the brain about the type of sweet could be advantageous to weight loss — it facilitates the consumption of low-calorie drinks because their taste is perceived as pleasant as the sugary, calorie-laden drink.”

Because sugary drinks caused brain signals to show even less activity, people who drink sugary carbonated drinks could be susceptible to drinking too the brain perceives less sugar intake, the researchers said.

The findings add to an extensive laundry list of soda’s damaging health effects. Studies have suggested that drinking soda can increase the risk for prostate cancer, stroke; it can decrease sperm count and increase female mortality, and most of all, it’s been implicated in causing childhood and adult obesity.

…[Read More]

And yet…

What can I say?

18 Extremely Questionable Requirements For "Being A Man" [Source]

Oops.

Gonna drink ’em anyway.

*wags tongue while giving moose fingers*

So there.

Jeez, Science…

Just take away EVERYTHING I love, why don’t ya?

Ugh.

now step away from that cookie

News Mash: Take control of your weight. These new clothes may help!

The average [fat] person in America?

Doesn’t think they eat as unhealthy…

As the average fat person.

Nope.

They honestly think?

They eat much better!

[via Today]Average person thinks they have a better diet than average person ~Scott Douglas

In a survey that might have been taken at Lake Wobegon, where all the children are above average, people asked to grade their diet gave themselves a B- while saying that everyone else’s diet deserves only a C-.

That’s according to the 2013 Food and Health Survey, which was commissioned by the International Food Information Council Foundation. The survey includes responses from 1,006 Americans between the ages of 18 and 80. The survey was conducted in April.

In the survey, 88% of respondents said that it’s possible to have “a great deal” or “complete” control of their diet, but only 66% said they try to take that amount of control over what they eat.

Concerning how to improve one’s diet, the average response involved consuming a more balanced diet in general, including eating more fruits and vegetables and fewer sweets and snacks.

If correct information is part of successfully taking control of such matters, some barriers remain. Only 30% said that, for weight management, a calorie is a calorie, regardless of its source. Twenty-one percent said that calories from sugar are more likely to cause weight gain, 19% said calories from carbohydrates are more likely to cause weight gain, and 18% said calories from fat play an above-and-beyond role in abetting weight gain.

…[Read More]

Thankfully…

For these deluded few?

The University of Pittsburgh has developed an invention…

Which will bring a much need dose of reality?

To all of your many, many delusions.

Especially?

When it comes to how horribly BAD you are eating:

[via DailyMail] Clothes fitted with cameras could help you diet – by tracking EVERY mouthful of food that passes your lips

  • University of Pittsburgh researchers present method to estimate calories
  • Tiny 3D cameras embedded into clothing take pictures and create model
  • Proposal in latest Journal of Measurement Science and Technology
  • eButton camera was incorrect 3.7% of the time
  • Visual estimation is wrong 20% of the time

By Deni Kirkova

It could be the struggling slimmer’s best friend – or an irritating nightmare.

Clothing fitted with multiple 3D cameras that track everything you put in your mouth is being hailed as the future of dieting

The tiny cameras, embedded in clothes, could help abolish one of the main reasons for failed diets: underestimating the amount of calories we consume

People frequently calculate calories inaccurately when dieting, most likely playing down the amount they consume.

And there’s no doubt that this ‘guestimation’ has a detrimental effect to dieters’ waistlines.

Now though scientists have developed special cameras that can be worn throughout the day – and will document exactly how much the wearer is eating.

now step away from that cookie [Source]

The 3D cameras keep track of food intake by taking multiple images of the food and calculating how many calories it contains.

It works by taking information on the volume of food, using the plate as a scale reference, and by looking at the shape of the food to ascertain what it is.

It runs the information through a database to provide an accurate assessment of the number of calories in the dish.

The researchers tested the ‘eButton’ camera device on 17 foods, including burgers, broccoli, fish, ketchup and peanut butter. Ketchup, haddock and ice cream gave researchers problems. Their geometric properties resulted in the largest estimation errors. In the case of the ketchup, it was too small, whereas the ice cream and haddock had concave surfaces, which led to an overestimation of their volumes.

The University of Pittsburgh scientists including Hsin-Chen Chen et al, who devised the gadget, say that better understanding of intake – thanks to more accurate information – could lead to better overall health and help tackle chronic conditions such as obesity, diabetes and cardiovascular disease.

…[Read More]

So…

Pretty soon?

Your clothes could very well be watching you.

And thank gawd…

Someone has to bear witness, and record, all of these cookies I am eating lately. Knowing? I largely excuse my horrible behavior by busily telling myself that  I easily lose all those cookie calories, which I have been consuming at a startling degree, by getting up and making that long (no, not at all) walk into the kitchen to get them.

*shakes head sadly*

This madness must stop.

*whispers* “It MUST!!!!”

So…

If all that stands between me and size 10 jeans are clothes that tattle on me regarding how much I consume?

So be it.

would you like some protein with that

News Mash: How about some blood worm protein with your needed H2O? Ew.

There is very little it CAN’T do to improve your health…

Water.

It’s Mother Nature’s TRUE elixir of life…

ALL life.

[via Examiner]The Health Benefits Of Water

Aqua. Water. H2O. Whatever you call it this elixir of life is one of our body’s most valuable friends. It’s no wonder, since 60% of your body is made up of the stuff, that the health benefits of this commonplace liquid are many and varied. Adults lose almost 12 cups water from their bodies every day though soles of their feet, through breathing, sweating, and, of course, urination. Though the 8 by 8 rule (that’s eight glasses of water, eight ounces a day) is usually adequate, an athletic person can need up to 2/3 ounce per pound which is 14 8-ounce glasses a day for a 160-pound person. Read on to get to know some of the other reasons keeping your water intake up can lead to a healthier you.

Great For The Skin
Your skin, also known as the largest organ in your body, is comprised of tons of cells, and those cells are mostly made up of water. Your skin and its cells hold in fluids, so we don’t lose them. When we don’t get enough water, or are dehydrated, our skin can turn dry and wrinkled. Though it does reach the skin last, drinking water and applying a moisturizer right after a shower, helps lock in the body’s natural moisture. Many cultures, such as those in Eastern Europe, also have long-established traditions, like bathhouses or steam rooms to help detoxify and tighten skin using water.

Keeping Muscles Strong
Muscle cells need to maintain a correct balance of electrolytes and fluids, and when this balance is upset the electrolytes can wither, causing muscle fatigue. When you exercise, it is very important to maintain a correct intake of water and fluids. The American College of Sports Medicine recommends that you should drink 17 ounces of fluid two hours before you exercise. During exercise, they advise to drink regularly throughout the time you are exerting yourself in order to replace all those fluids lost though sweating

Get That Weight Down
Drinking water can help people lose weight for a number of reasons. One reason is that choosing water (at zero calories) over calorie-rich beverage like soda or coffee with sugar added can cut down on the total calories consumed each day. Drinking water can also reduce hunger, as studies have shown that drinking a couple of glasses 20 minutes before a meal can make us feel more full.

…[Read More – See More health Benefits HERE!]

Well…

Unless?

Your water has been infested with blood worms.

[Yes, I said…Blood. Worms!]

Then probably not so much:

[via The Verge] Blood worms infest Oklahoma town’s tap water ~By Katie Drummondwould you like some protein with that

There’s something in the water — and it isn’t an ice cube. Residents of one small Oklahoma town are being ordered to sip exclusively bottled water, after tiny red blood worms started popping up in drinking glasses earlier this week.

The outbreak in Colcord, OK, has all but shut down the community, home to around 800 people. Schools are closed, convenience stores can’t serve fountain sodas, and residents have been instructed not to cook or brush their teeth using tap water. Bathing, fortunately, is still deemed acceptable by local health authorities.

Blood worms — actually the larvae of the midge fly — are typically small, maxing out at around half-an-inch in length. They’re known to pop up in the southeastern United States, though not often in municipal water supplies, and are also sold freeze-dried as fish food. Blood worms tend to thrive in low-oxygen or heavily polluted water, where they burrow inside mud. And unfortunately for officials in Colcord, the buggers are also extremely resilient. “The chlorine won’t kill them, the bleach won’t kill them,” Cody Gibby, the town’s water commissioner, told a local TV network. “You can take the worms out of the filter system and put them in a straight cup of bleach and leave them in there for about four hours, and they still won’t die.”

…[Read More]

Note to self:

Drink more water…

After?

I make sure my water is not infested with blood worms.

As a life lesson to go by, I have to say?

That’s a pretty good rule of thumb.

What do YOU think?

expectation reality

News Mash: ‘Severe obesity’ in US youth is an issue? Pffft. Hello, pizzaburger!

Did you know…

The US has a severe problem with the rise of obesity of its youth.

Tell me…

How shocked are you?

[via LiveScience] ‘Severe Obesity’ Rising in US Youth ~By Bahar Gholipour

About 5 percent of U.S. children and teens are “severely obese,” and the numbers are rising, according to a new statement from the American Heart Association.

Although recent data suggesting that the rate of childhood obesity has started to level off, “a worrisome trend has emerged in the form of severe pediatric obesity,” the researchers wrote in their study published today (Sept. 9) in the journal Circulation.

“Severe obesity in young people has grave health consequences,” said study author Aaron Kelly, a researcher at the University of Minnesota Medical School in Minneapolis. “It’s a much more serious childhood disease than obesity.”

Severely obese children have higher rates of Type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular issues at younger ages, including high blood pressure, high cholesterol and early signs of atherosclerosis – a disease that clogs the arteries. [10 Ways to Promote Kids’ Healthy Eating Habits]

Treating children and teens with of severe obesity is challenging, the researchers said. Many treatments that are commonly used with some success in overweight and obese children, such as lifestyle changes, are less effective in those with severe obesity.

The researchers recommended using a standard definition for severe obesity in youth; they define children over age 2 as severely obese if they have a body mass index (BMI) at least 20 percent higher than 95 percent of other children of the same age and gender. The researchers also said any child with a BMI of 35 or higher should be considered severely obese.

…[Read More]

Very shocked?

*no*

Yeah…

Me neither:

[via DailyMail] Meat the pizzaburger – a 1,360 calorie bacon cheeseburger wrapped in a pepperoni pizza and cooked like a Like a calzone: The burger is baked inside thee pizza and comes out like a calzonecalzone ~By Ryan Gorman

Move over Cronuts, here comes the pizzaburger.

Created by Boston’s Restaurant and Sports Bar, the pepperoni pizza-wrapped bacon cheeseburger packs a walloping 1,360 calories and 2,000 milligrams of sodium. Available now in the chain’s 40 US restaurants, it was initially launched at a Canadian subsidiary.

The frankenburgers were conceived by company brass who wanted to have a little fun with the celebrity baby craze, a spokesperson told MailOnline.

Baked in the same pizza pans used to make personal pizzas, the frankenburgers and have no illusions of being healthy.

‘We’re not pretending that it’s a healthy product,’ Brad Bevill, vice president of marketing for the chain, told USA Today. ‘You’re talking about a hamburger and pizza wrapped together.’

A YouTube video shows cooks placing the burger, with all the fixins, in a pizza pan complete with an uncooked pizza. The burger is then wrapped in the pizza and tossed in the oven. People are soon shown enjoying the creation.

The heart bombs are garnished with lettuce, pickle and tomato, but no one in the video seemed to have any need for them. They retail for $10.29 at one Connecticut location.

…[Read More]

So?

Go ahead, American youth…

Get you some of that “heart bomb” deliciousness.

Then?

Go languish away in front of your newest technological fad of the moment

Which, we all know you are prone to do.

Then watch all your “expectations” of yourself slip through your fingers faster…

expectation reality

Than that belt you have to loosen, to fit your growing waist & to just help you keep enough of your dignity, by hiding your plumbers crack, every time you bend over.

Honestly…

Is that really what you want?

*no*

Then step away from pizzaburger…

No one has to be hurt here.

Damn you internet

News Mash: When it comes to enjoying certain foods? Oh, the internet just ruins it!

Ever heard that idiom…

“What you don’t know won’t hurt you.”

It’s never so true?

Than when one is talking about food:

[via BuzzFeed]12 Deeply Unsettling Food Facts You Wish You Didn’t Know ~Erin La Rosa

1. Jars of peanut butter contain insect fragments and rodent hair.

Jars of peanut butter contain insect fragments and rodent hair.

According to the FDA, peanut butter can have 30 or more insect fragments per 100 grams and one or more rodent hairs for every 100 grams.

So, an 18-ounce jar has 510 grams, meaning that every jar is allowed to have 150-plus insect fragments and five or more rodent hairs.

2. On average, the estimated calories in restaurant food have 100 more calories than they claim.

On average, the estimated calories in restaurant food have 100 more calories than they claim.

A recent study out of Tufts University found that 20% of foods with listed caloric values are actually 100 calories or more than what was stated on the menu.

3. Packaged meat is often injected with salt water to “plump it up.”

Packaged meat is often injected with salt water to "plump it up."

Out of all packaged meats, roughly 30% of poultry, 15% of beef, and 90% of pork are injected with a water solution to make them appear fuller. Luckily, the USDA is working to get those additives put on labels next year.

4. Babies would need to eat double the amount of manufactured baby food to get the same nutrients as a homemade meal offers.

Babies would need to eat double the amount of manufactured baby food to get the same nutrients as a homemade meal offers.

A study by the University of Glasgow found that most manufactured baby foods — including those by Cow & Gate, Heinz, and Ella’s Kitchen — have much fewer nutrients than homemade meals. Additionally, many contain excess sugar, and babies would need to eat twice as much to get the same amount of energy and protein that meals prepped at home offer.

5. If your NFL team loses a game, you’re more likely to binge on junk food.

If your NFL team loses a game, you're more likely to binge on junk food.

That’s according to a recent study that found cities whose football team had lost a game were more likely to up their saturated fat and calorie intake.

6. “Natural” vanilla, strawberry, and raspberry flavoring comes from a beaver’s anal gland.

The actual additive is called castoreum, which is the excrement from a beaver’s castor sacs. It’s not just used in some ice creams, it’s also an additive in ice tea, yogurt, gelatin, fruit-flavored drinks, and candy. Though, to be fair to castoreum, it’s FDA approved…

7. Candy corn is covered in insect secretions.

Candy corn is covered in insect secretions.

Candy corn, chewing gum, coffee beans, and jelly beans are covered in something called shellac, which comes from the secretions of the female Kerria lacca, an insect in Thailand. (It’s what gives the candy that shiny glow.) Notably, M&Ms is one hard candy that doesn’t use the stuff.

…[Read More – See All 12 HERE!]

So…

I suppose a good rule of thumb, when talking about foods you enjoy?

It would probably be best to IGNORE any posts written about them on the internet.

Cause yes, when it comes to “truth” and your favorite foods?


[Source]

The internet…

Oh?

It just ruins things.

Damn you, Internet…

Damn you internet

My Future Appocalypse Preparedness Bag

News Mash: Most useful gadget people don’t know they need? Frisbee.

Hmmm.

The wonderful site Gizmodo posted a wonderful Ponderism:

What’s the Most Useful Gadget People Don’t Know They Need?”

Good question, right?

As for the answer…

Gonna have to go with:

Frisbee.

After all…

Everyone needs a little additional help, from time to time, getting that beer bottle open to satisfy that beer urge

However…

On those days a Frisbee cannot be found, and you simply cannot get the bottle open (thanks to your Mary-soft hands)?

Introducing:

Beer Spread.

[via NeatoRama]Are You Ready for Spreadable Beer? ~Jill Harness

Nutella is great and all, but sometimes it would be nice to be able to get drunk on your breakfast toast. That’s why spreadable beer is so important. The delicious concoction combines Napoleone chocolate spread with delicious, delicious beer in both light and dark varieties.

Link Via The Consumerist

…[Read More]

It’s like Nutella.

Only?

Far more awesome.

So?

These two items are definitely going into my “Future Apocalypse” Preparedness Bag, along with my pizza printer & box of instant cheesecake.

I am ready for you Apocalypse…

Bring. It. ON!

My Future Appocalypse Preparedness Bag [Source]

Reactionary Animated Gifs – You MUST love pizza…Dammit.

THEY (evil people, who want to kick puppies, pee on rainbows and spread general unhappiness) will tell you…

Pizza is very bad for you.

Because its made up of?

Just horrible, horrible things:

However I will tell you?

Listen not to those evil people.

For pizza is made of magic…

And everything that is delicious in this world.

[Source]

So heed not…

To the naysayers & simply?

Love pizza.

You could only be a better person for it.

Made of poo

News Mash – You have two sweetener options, death or eating poo!

OMG…

For those of us cursed with a sweet tooth?

Did you know…

Sugar WILL freakin’ kill you, dude!

[via Sciencetopia]Death By Sugar

We’ve been hearing a lot about sugar lately. Every few years, a new bugbear of diet comes to haunt us. First it was fats. Then it was carbs. Now it’s sugars. Sometimes it’s gluten or cholesterol. And it’s pretty scary to see all the studies come out. I worried about my sugar intake, now I’m worried about my artificial sweeteners, and now I should be worried about sugar again?!

Possibly I should be. A new study out yesterday showed that “safe” levels of sugar are still harmful to mice.

But being a good little science nerd, I’m not just believing Nature News (though in general I like them very much). I’m getting my hands on the study itself. And I’m sharing it with you.

Ruff et al. “Human-relevant levels of added sugar consumption increase female mortality and lower male fitness in mice” Nature Communications, 2013.

…[Read More]

Then again…

Your non-sugar sweetener?

Is made of genetically modified bacteria’s poo, so…

There’s always THAT option:

(NaturalNews)  Patent confirms that aspartame is the excrement of GM bacteria~ by Michael Ravensthorpe Made of poo

In 1999, The Independent published an article entitled “World’s top sweetener is made with GM bacteria,” which revealed that Monsanto was knowingly adding aspartame to soft drinks in the United States – and that aspartame is made from GM bacteria. This report, which remains one of the earliest disclosures on aspartame in a mainstream newspaper, received little attention after its publication – possibly because its implications were underestimated at the time – and it has long been forgotten.

Since 1999, the world has become a little more attentive to Monsanto and aspartame, but ignorance still abounds about the latter’s genesis. While more and more people are starting to awaken to aspartame’s destructive effects on our health, do they know how it is actually made? Fortunately, a 1981 patent for aspartame production, once confined to the drawers of patent offices, is now available online for everyone to see – and it confirms everything that Monsanto was happy to tell us in 1999 before their meteoric growth necessitated greater prudence.

The production process

The patent, which is entitled Process for producing aspartame and is credited to Bahl, Rose, and White, summarizes the process as follows:

“The artificial sweetener aspartame, a dipeptide with the formula Asp-Phe-me, is produced using a cloned micrcorganism [sic]. A DNA which codes for a large stable peptide comprised of the repeating amino acid sequence (Asp-Phe)n is inserted into a cloning vehicle which in turn is introduced into a suitable host microorganism. The host microorganism is cultured and the large peptide containing the repeating Asp-Phe sequence is harvested therefrom. The free carboxyl group of the large peptide is benzylated and then hydrolysed to benzyl Asp-Phe dipeptides. This dipeptide is methylated and then debenzylated to form aspartame.”

This scientific jargon obfuscates (perhaps deliberately) a truly disturbing process:

1.) ‘Cloned microorganisms’ (which the patent later reveals to be genetically modified E. coli) are cultivated in tanks whose environments are tailored to help them thrive.

2.) The well-fed E. coli cultures defecate the proteins that contain the aspartic acid-phenylalanine amino acid segment needed to make aspartame.

3.) The proteins containing the Asp-Phe segments are ‘harvested’ (i.e. lab assistants collect the bacteria’s feces).

4.) The feces are then treated. This includes a process of methylation (adding an excess of the toxic alcohol, methanol, to the protected dipeptide).

…[Read More]

Of course its a horrible, icky option.

BUT?

Thanks to Science…

That’s STILL an option.

So when it comes to satisfying your sweet tooth, you have two simple choices:

Death or eat poo.

Yeah…

Needing a sweetener for your tea is looking less and less appealing now, isn’t it?

From now on…

I thik I will just take mine plan.

Wow.

Essential to your survival

News Mash: Introducing beer concentrate! The next, big survival tool?

No matter what…

No matter your circumstance?

You. Will. Survive!

Especially?

If you have a few cans of beer to help you along:

[via SurvivalLife] Hold My Beer & Watch This! ~By

Beer can help you survive. Just ask Clifton Vial of Nome Alaska, who was stranded for more than 60 hours outside of town on Nov. 28, 2011. While he was out for a drive, his truck veered into a snowdrift, and with no cell service he couldn’t call for help. He was wearing only jeans, a thin jacket, and sneakers. Vial did everything he could to endure temperatures of 17 below zero. He insulated his clothing with random rags and used the truck’s heater for warmth until he ran out of gas. For nourishment and hydration … you guessed it, he turned to a few cans of frozen Coors Light. Mr. Vial survived his ordeal thanks to turning his attention to an unlikely hero – a beer can. Check out these 14 ways to use one to survive.

1. Boil water    
One man’s trash… right? Just a single can of beer is capable of becoming a life saver if the can is used to boil raw water to make it safe for human consumption. The trick with boiling in cans is to set the water-filled can next to the fire; in the ashes. Do not place the can in the center of the fire, as the metal will break down quicker. In 10 or 15 minutes, the water will start to boil. Then boil for 10 additional minutes just to be on the safe side. Let the water cool and have yourself a pathogen-free drink.

2. Make char cloth for flint and steel  
This will be a one shot deal, but a beer can is capable of producing usable char cloth for flint and steel fire making. Cut the top off the can and pack the inside with fibrous tree bark, punk wood or cotton cloth. Fold the top of the can shut and throw the can into the camp fire for exactly five minutes. The can should be melting by the end of five minutes, but if you are lucky, your char cloth will be ready before the can disintegrates.

3. Fishing reel  
This classic fishing reel can be made of almost anything cylindrical, but the beer can makes a fine spool for storing the fishing line. It’s even possible to cast the line right off the can. To make your fishing kit, tie the monofilament to the can’s pull tab, or better yet, tie the line through a small hole that you have pierced through the can. Wind up the line around the can, trying not to overlap the mono too much. For storage, put a rubber band or tie a string around the can and mono to keep it from unraveling. The can fishing rig casts a bit like an open face reel, so be patient and be cautious to avoid tangling the line.

4. Fire starter   
This method plays off the principles of optical fire making. Polish the can with little smears of chocolate to create a shine so the light of the sun can be reflected off the can’s concave bottom. Select a fine, fluffy tinder, preferably one that has a dark color. Play with the zenith and azimuth angles of the can until you get some smoke coming from your tinder.

5. Pull tab for a fish hook  
While a soft, malleable fish hook is just about the worst fish hook you could ask for, you can catch fish by using a gorge hook fishing technique and some pretty flimsy improvised hooks. Break off the can’s pull tab, and cut out a section of tab so that it looks like a fish hook. Sharpen the hook tip to a point, attach it to your line and bait it appropriately. Instead of trying to set the hook in the fish’s mouth when he bites, give him some line and let the fish swallow the hook. The pull tab hook will hang up on the soft stomach or esophagus a lot better than it would pierce the fish’s jaw. Be advised that this is not a catch-and-release method, as you’ll probably be ripping the fish’s guts out to retrieve the home made hook. This is survival fishing.

…[Read More – Check Out All 14 Ways A Beer Can, Can Help You Survive HERE!]

If not & a few cans of beer are hard to come by?

Thanks to the gawds of advancement and ingenuity?

There exists such a thing as powered beer…

Just add water!

[via PerezHilton]Get Instant Booze! Powdered Beer That Lets You JUST ADD WATER!

We’ve been waiting for this moment all our lives. The moment when it became unbelievably easy to carry beer around — hiking, stadiums, church, etc. — because it was completely dehydrated and all we had to do was add water!

Essential to your survival

That moment is here!

There’s a company based in Talkeetna, Alaska, that’s gone off and invented a “beer concentrate.” That means you just add water, and boom: you’ve got yourself a brew! Here’s how it’s described:

“Pat’s Backcountry Beverages specializes in backpacker-friendly carbonated beverage kits. Among those carbonated beverages is, you guessed it, beer. The way the kit works is by taking Pat’s beer concentrate, which is apparently a thing, and adding water to it in a simple, bottle-shaped carbonation system.”

It’s about time! The world was just starting to get unbearably crazy! Now, some comfort for the masses!

Here’s what Pat himself, about the advanced science behind it all:

“If you come into our facility, you’ll see fermentors, you’ll see a mash tun, you’ll see a brew kettle, but you’ll also see some equipment that looks like some sci-fi movie, and that’s where our very specialized technology allows us to do what we do.”

…[Read More]

Now…

If only the gawds of advancement and ingenuity could come up with powered pizza?

The survival of the human race, no matter the circumstance…

Would be all but guaranteed!

What’s not to love about that?!

as long as there was coffee in the world

News Mash: Rationality & intelligence? Meet the yawn activated coffee maker!

Rationality quotient.

What do rationality and intelligence have to do with each other…

Surprisingly, according to THIS (below) man?

Very little.

[via io9] A Test to Measure How Rational You Really Are

Standard IQ tests are problematic on many levels — not least, because they do very little to tell us about the quality of our thinking. Looking to overcome this oversight, psychologist Keith Stanovich has started to work on the first-ever Rationality Quotient test. We spoke to him to learn more.

Keith E. Stanovich is Professor of Human Development and Applied Psychology at the University of Toronto. The author of over 200 scientific articles and seven books, he, along with Richard West, was recently given a grant by the John Templeton Foundation to create the first comprehensive assessment of rational thinking — a test that will ultimately determine a person’s ‘rationality quotient’.

And indeed, the value of rationality and “good thinking” tends to be diminished by the importance we place on intelligence. But as we learned from Stanovich, the two often have very little to do with each other.

Don’t standard IQ tests already measure for rationality — and doesn’t intelligence correlate with rationality?

IQ [tests] do not at all directly assess processes of rational thinking, as they are defined by cognitive scientists.

This is why a separate test is needed to assess RQ. We — my colleague Richard West and I — were led many years ago to through our longstanding interest in the heuristics and biases research program inaugurated by Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky several decades ago.

This all got started back in 2002 when Kahneman won the Nobel Prize in Economics (Tversky died in 1996). The press release for the award from the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences drew attention to the roots of the award-winning work in “the analysis of human judgment and decision-making by cognitive psychologists.”

…[Read More]

Though…

It can probably be stated very easily?

That both rationality & intelligence DO indeed have a connection.

Or at least something in common.

A connection which can be found in one item BOTH need in order to be effective in the brain function of the human species:

Coffee.

[via Time] Perk Up: Yawn-Activated Coffee Machine ~By

Most travelers know the feeling: You’ve just landed at the airport after a long and uncomfortable international flight, and all you want is a cup of coffee, but you haven’t changed money to the local currency yet. What to do? A Douwe Egberts coffee machine may be the perfect solution. The coffeemaker doesn’t take payment in cash, but instead serves up coffee at the sight of yawns.

The machine is outfitted with facial-recognition software, so when a weary traveler yawns, the machine recognizes the action and serves up a hot cup of coffee. Earlier this summer, the vending machine was placed at Johannesburg’s O.R. Tambo International Airport — undoubtedly a location filled with exhausted voyagers — as a marketing event by Douwe Egberts, the Dutch coffee company. The brand’s effective ploy served up 210 cups of coffee to those willing to yawn for their caffeine.

…[Read More]

A ‘yawn-activated’ coffee maker?

Brilliant.

Oh, technology…

Why didn’t you come up with this sooner?

Both my rationality & intelligence, are thanking you so much right now, as both, for me, I just increased exponentially at the very thought!

Now if I could just get one of these in my house…

Oh, my mornings will be all but perfect.

And before you laugh?

Pause and reflect.

You know you were thinking the exact same thing.

as long as there was coffee in the world [Source]