oh what

News Mash: Cats boost your ‘creativity’…Just ask Koko!

One of the best side-benefits of having a cat…

Apparently?

They boost your creativity:

[via Brainpickings] How a Cat Boosts Your Creativity ~by Maria Popova

History is laced with cat-loving creators, from Hemingway’s profound affection for his felines to Edison’s pre-YouTube boxing cats to the traditions of Indian folk art. But hardly anyone has made a greater case for the cat as a creative stimulant and a mystical muse of writing than Muriel Spark in this wonderful passage from A Far Cry from Kensington (public library):

If you want to concentrate deeply on some problem, and especially some piece of writing or paper-work, you should acquire a cat. Alone with the cat in the room where you work … the cat will invariably get up on your desk and settle placidly under the desk lamp. The light from a desk lamp … gives a cat great satisfaction. The cat will settle down and be serene, with a serenity that passes all understanding. And the tranquility of the cat will gradually come to affect you, sitting there at your desk, so that all the excitable qualities that impede your concentration compose themselves and give your mind back the self-command it has lost. You need not watch the cat all the time. Its presence alone is enough. The effect of a cat on your concentration is remarkable, very mysterious.

…[Read More]

And…

The greatest case for this, oddly enough?

The gorilla, Koko:

[via NaturalNews] Gorilla destroys property, blames the cat. Are all primates liars? ~by Mike Bundrant

NaturalNews) Koko the Gorilla, celebrated for her 1000-word sign language vocabulary, is known for her affinity toward cats. After she learned how to communicate with her caretakers at the Gorilla Foundation in Northern California, she asked for a kitten to have as a pet.

Like most people, Koko has good behaviors and bad behaviors. Like most people, she takes credit for the good behaviors and blames the bad ones on someone else.

The cat came in handy on one particularly destructive day. When no one was around, Koko managed to rip a sink out of the wall in her habitat. When the humans returned, they asked Koko who ripped out the sink.

Koko signed, “The cat did it.”

The framed cat was not available for comment, but we assume he was shocked at this betrayal.

…[Read More]

Cause apparently her kitten boosted her creativity to the point?

She was able to make it her fall guy.

Nice going there, Koko.

oh what [Source]

a+

News Mash: Music tastes evolves over the years, but ‘Rickrolling’? Never fades!

THIS (below)…

Is a wonderful chart, which reflects the evolution, the rise and fall?

Of popular music tastes, preferences and inclinations…

Over the years!

[via io9]Google Charts the History of Modern Music ~by Robert T. Gonzalez

Google recently began tracking its user’s music uploads. What’s it doing with that data? A number of things, to be sure, and here’s one we like very much: Google Research has created a rich, multilayered, interactive chart of musical evolution by visualizing which albums from eras-gone-by remain in our music libraries today.

Google’s visualization (dubbed, simply, “Music Timeline”) is by no means a perfect historical account, but it does give us a pretty clear idea “which music has stood the test of time, and how genres and artists have risen and fallen in popularity.” The most impressive thing (and the funnest to play around with) is the chart’s granularity. Hovering your cursor over a genre pulls up a grid of album art from artists in that category of music, complete with lines that connect the artist to their position (and, in many instances, positions) along the timeline. Click on any genre and the visualization morphs fluidly into a depiction of that genre’s constituent sub-genres.

Google Charts the History of Modern Music

Dig deeper by mousing over a sub-genre. This time, the grid of associated album covers has shrunk. Click a sub-genre and the visualization zooms in further, deconstructing your selection into a chart of specific artists. Mouse over an artist for their discography, complete with a few paragraphs about their body of work. If you want, you can explore an album in greater detail; otherwise, you can lather, rinse and repeat with a new album, artist, sub-genre or genre. The whole experience is very clean, straightforward, and fun. The data is dense but navigable. That it’s all laid out on a timeline spanning from 1950 onward makes for some fascinating armchair analysis. Some starting tips from Google Research:

The overall shape of each major genre shows when it hit the scene and when it retreated — for example, R&B has a long history of resurgences, but Electronica is a strictly recent phenomenon. Delve into changes in the vocabulary used to name artists and their work — funk may be over as a genre, but as a band or album name it seems to be timeless. Or search for a particular artist to see the trajectory of their career — contrast U2’s long-running reinvention and re-emergence from the ’80s up to today, versus a one hit wonder like Los del Río’s 1995 Macarena.

…[Read More]

But one bit of music?

Which never falls, flounders or falters…

(i.e. never gonna give it up)

No matter your natural inclination or preferences?

Rickrolling, baby!

[via TheBlaze]LOOK: Hilarious Secret Message Hidden in High School Student’s Physics Essay ~

A high school student managed to “rickroll” his physics teacher, cleverly inserting the lyrics of Rick Astley’s ’80s hit “Never Gonna Give You Up” and lining the words up perfectly.

Even more impressive, the essay on scientist Niels Bohr actually makes perfect sense. It’s hard enough to write a physics essay, but we don’t even want to think about how much time it took student Sairam Gudiseva to “rickroll” his teacher.

Hopefully he got an A for creativity.

a+

…[Read More]

Apparently…

Now, not only is it music that unites us all?

But…

It helps explains physics.

[Source]

Sure…

Uh.

OK, cool.

are they

News Mash: Squirrels…How cute are they, huh? *shakes head sadly*

If cute squirrels were smart…

And could talk?

Yeah…

They might sound like this:

Though…

I am not sure?

I will be wishing an epidemic of smart squirrels on anyone, anytime soon…

Thanks to THIS:

Squirrels.

Now…

Not quite as cute, as you thought they were, just 2:13 seconds ago…

are they [Source]

shamy

News Mash: Was 2013 the year of too much shame…Or not enough?

2013.

Was it, like some claim…

A year WITHOUT shame:

[via NationalReview]2013: The Year of Shamelessness : America reached new depths of depravity this year — but just wait for 2014 to outdo it. ~By Rich Lowry

All things considered, it was a year without shame.

It was the year that Miley Cyrus French-kissed a sledgehammer in the music video for her song “Wrecking Ball,” and cavorted naked on said wrecking ball. The former Disney star popularized the act of twerking in a performance at the MTV Video Music Awards that was so luridly infantile, it wasn’t outrageous so much as pathetic. Yet it worked. It gained her at least another 15 minutes of fame and probably more, to have people pay attention to other insipid things she might do, usually half-clothed. Cyrus made us yearn for the good taste and restraint of the era of Lady Gaga, not to mention the golden age of classic Britney Spears.

It was the year the president of the United States posed in a selfie with other foreign leaders at a memorial service for Nelson Mandela. He evidently had a grand time, but made us nostalgic for the period before our presidents posed in selfies with other heads of state, i.e., the long stretch of American history ending on December 9, 2013.

It was the year Anthony Weiner admitted in the midst of his New York City mayoral campaign that he had continued to sext after resigning from Congress for sexting. Under the delightfully absurd alias “Carlos Danger,” he had sent pictures of his private parts to a 22-year-old woman, whose notoriety instantly launched her career in adult film and as a spokesmodel for an adultery-facilitating website. Weiner made us fondly recall the self-effacing modesty of past New York City politicians like Ed Koch and Rudy Giuliani.

…[Read More]

Or…

Was it a year?

With possibly far too MUCH shaming:

[via Jezebel]2013: The Year in Shaming ~Madeleine Davies

2013 was The Year of a lot of things. It was the year of Beyoncé (again). It was the year of royal babies, Jennifer Lawrence, white girls twerking, teens sending dick picks and Robin Thicke’s emergence as a feminist scholar (again). It was — as concluded by Rembert Browne’s sprawling and thorough “Who Won 2013” bracket — the year of cultural appropriation. But there’s another not-so-silent-yet-often-ignored star of 2013 that deserves its due —- and that star is shame.

shamy

2013 was the year when everyone felt shamed no matter what they did and yet somehow, despite all that shame, never managed to shut up about how shamed they were feeling. Now, it goes without saying that some types of shaming are very real and damaging. Shaming someone for the shape of their body, the color of their skin, their gender, the number of people they’ve slept with or their sexual orientation is both fucked up and — most unfortunately — a deeply institutionalized part of our culture. Those specific types of shaming deserve addressing because they degrade people over arbitrary bullshit that they cannot (and/or should not be expected to) control.

…[Read More]

When it comes to ‘shame’ and 2013…

Riddle me this:

What was it for YOU?

Because honestly…

I think the question is answered quite differently, all depending on which side of the microphone you happen to be on.

Just sayin’.

no matter who you are

News Mash: Reading is good for your brain? Yes. Hollywood movies? Not so much!

You have a choice, quick: Watch a movie, or read a book?

What’s it gonna be?

Just be advised, however…

Your critical faculties are under attack!

And, thanks to stupid Hollywood…

When you least expect it.

Insidious bast**ds!

[via HotAir]Study: Sentimental films make you more liberal 

Todd Adkins, of the University of Notre Dame in Indiana, said audiences seemed to turn off their critical faculties when they reach the cinema.

‘Viewers come expecting to be entertained and are not prepared to encounter and evaluate political messages as they would during campaign advertisements or network news,’ he said.

Dr Adkins’ research, published in the journal Social Science Quarterly, was based on a study of 268 students who were asked about their political views, shown a film and then questioned again.

Half identified themselves as politically conservative.

…[Read More]

Solution?

Simply this…

Read. A. Book.

Really, it’s not that hard.

Not only that?

But your brain’s critical faculties will thank you for days

By way of “boosted” functioning abilities:

[via Independent]Brain function ‘boosted for days after reading a novel’ ~Tomas Jivanda

Being pulled into the world of a gripping novel can trigger actual, measurable changes in the brain that linger for at least five days after reading, scientists have said.

The new research, carried out at Emory University in the US, found that reading a good book may cause heightened connectivity in the brain and neurological changes that persist in a similar way to muscle memory.

The changes were registered in the left temporal cortex, an area of the brain associated with receptivity for language, as well as the the primary sensory motor region of the brain.

Neurons of this region have been associated with tricking the mind into thinking it is doing something it is not, a phenomenon known as grounded cognition – for example, just thinking about running, can activate the neurons associated with the physical act of running.

“The neural changes that we found associated with physical sensation and movement systems suggest that reading a novel can transport you into the body of the protagonist,” said neuroscientist Professor Gregory Berns, lead author of the study.

“We already knew that good stories can put you in someone else’s shoes in a figurative sense. Now we’re seeing that something may also be happening biologically.”

…[Read More]

Knowing this…

Is there really a choice?

Hollywood movies UNDERMINE your brains natural reasoning abilities…

Whereas books?

Reinforce your brain as the powerhouse it naturally wants to BE.

So?

Read a book.

Try it…

Just ONE.

You will be better for it and…

You just might actually enjoy yourself.

no matter who you are [Source]

yikes i see what you did there

News Mash: Sorry Kim, but that Birkin will NOT compensate for your inner fragilities!

Whoa.

Did anyone else see the ugly *** purse Kanye West got his honey boo-boo…

Which, is it just me?

Or is it saying something pretty ugly about how he views his soon-to-be in-laws?

[via Jezebel]Here’s the Hideous Naked Demon Birkin Bag Kanye Got Kim for Christmas ~Callie Beusman

This Christmas, Kanye West got Kim Kardashian a one-of-a-kind Birkin bag. It is one-of-a-kind because it bears a customized mural of a psychosexual nightmare loosely based on the monkey Jesus fresco and/or The Mask starring Jim Carrey (a seminal art film).

yikes i see what you did there

…[Read More]

Art.

*blinks*

Overall…

That is pretty much what everyone in the media is calling this gagtastic handbag.

Simply Kanye’s appreciation of art, gifted to his love.

Seriously–That’s all you idiots see?

OK.

Let’s look at just ONE of the psychological functions of art.

And in THIS case?

Really the only one, in this instance, that matters:

[via Brain Pickings] Art as Therapy: Alain de Botton on the 7 Psychological Functions of Art ~by Maria Popova

‘We hunger for artworks that will compensate for our inner fragilities and help return us to a viable mean. We call a work beautiful when it supplies the virtues we are missing, and we dismiss as ugly one that forces on us moods or motifs that we feel either threatened or already overwhelmed by. Art holds out the promise of inner wholeness.’

…[Read More]

Yeah.

Anyone else see it better now?

Kanye?

Twisted that he would give his love such a ugly thing.

Even more twisted?

The fact that his love is so narcissistically  deranged…

That she would need to carry it.

Wow.

we beat the x factor

News Mash: X Factor Suffering From ‘Broken Heart Syndrome’? Most likely.

And before you scoff at the possibility?

Yes…

‘Broken heart syndrome’ is a real thing:

[via CBS Miami]Broken Heart Syndrome Really Does Existsuffering from BHS

MIAMI (CBSMiami) — How many times have you heard someone say they’re so sad about something that they have a broken heart? More often than not, they don’t really have a broken heart but it can actually happen.  Broken heart syndrome is a serious medical condition caused by sadness.

When Janet Ghise’s 14-year-old dog, Maggie died unexpectedly at a kennel while she was on vacation, she was devastated.

“She was just the nicest dog,” said Ghise.

So upset, she nearly died of a broken heart.

“I said to my husband, ‘I’m going to the doctor’s, to the cardiologist, to see if he can fix my broken heart.’ It’s exactly what I said,” Ghise said.

Luckily, she just happened to have a doctor’s appointment a few days later.

“To tell you the truth, I was really short of breath, but I didn’t put any weight on it. I thought, well, this is because I’m upset,” she said.

“She walked into the office, and she just did not look well,” said Dr. Jeffrey Friedel, a cardiologist. “She was very pale; she was breaking out in a cold sweat. She was short of breath, and she was complaining of a lot of chest pressure.”

He sent her to the hospital where a heart cath showed the problem, an actual illness called broken heart syndrome.

“The heart becomes severely weakened in a very characteristic shape, and it’s usually in response to an intensely stressful event,” said Dr. Friedel. “They can be in heart failure, they can be in shock; and in the worst case scenario, they can present in full cardiac arrest.”

The symptoms, EKG, and blood tests can be just like a heart attack. But it’s not.

“With broken heart syndrome, there’s no blockage to explain this extent of heart damage,” Dr. Friedel said.

It’s seen after the death of a loved one, after an argument, after extreme emotional turmoil.

“There’s this intense surge of stress hormones that basically damage the heart,” Dr. Friedel said.

…[Read More]

And because it is…

If anyone is suffering from it these days?

It’s Simon Cowell.

Cause it looks like his influence and time in the spotlight?

Is at an end:

[via ShowBiz411]Simon Cowell X Factor Season Finale Beaten by Charlie Brown Xmas Re-run! ~by Roger Friedman

Simon Cowell’s “X Factor” came to an ignominious end on Thursday night. The battered series not only finished third in its time slot, it drew fewer viewers than a rerun of “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”

“A Charlie Brown Christmas” first aired on CBS in 1965. It’s been on TV every year since then. Last night the ABC special pulled 6.41 million total viewers vs. “X Factor” with 6.22 million.

we beat the x factor [Source]

“Charlie Brown” was only from 8 to 9pm. “X Factor” was on from 8 to 10pm. Adding insult to injury, CBS’s “The Millers” aired from 8:30pm to 9pm on that network and scored 7.54 million pairs of eyes.

The only good news for “X Factor” is that in its final hour, people did tune in for the curiosity value. But Cowell’s assertion this week that “X Factor” would be back certainly doesn’t seem that certain. The show has drifted downward all this season. It’s fair to say that both “X Factor” and “American Idol” are ready for retirement. If “Idol” doesn’t do well this coming season, that should be it.

…[Read More]

Thank.

You.

Lord!

Now?

Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease…

Let the Kardashians be next!

[Source]

Bye, bye, bye!

art pop deflated

News Mash: Pop stars Bieber and Gaga deflating!

It is far harder to be a celebrity…

Than it is to be a musician.

A sad fact these two (below) “stars” are just beginning to figure out:

[via ShowBiz411]Justin Bieber Releases 5 New Singles in 5 Weeks: No Airplay, No Sales ~by Roger Friedman

The screaming girls in stadiums are one thing. But teen popster Justin Bieber has no actual hits. In the last five weeks he’s released 5 new singles, each on a Monday. Only one of them is on the iTunes top 50. Not one of them is being played on the country’s number 1 pop station, Z100. It’s as if they don’t exist.

Indeed, what’s happening to Bieber looks a lot like the fate of the Jonas Brothers and other teen pop idols. The appeal is all in person. But the songs are non existent and so are the hits. Everyone knows Bieber’s antics abroad, brothels, smoking pot, racing cars in his suburban neighborhood.

But can you hum any of his songs? Probably not.

The recent singles are called “Bad Day,” “All Bad,” “Heartbreaker,” “Hold Tight,” and “Recovery.” On each of the last five Mondays, the newest one has appeared briefly on the iTunes chart, then vanished. Only “All Bad” is still hanging around this week, at number 17.

It’s not like they’ve gotten any airplay on radio. On Z100, Bieber isn’t even listed on a roster of artists and songs for listeners to request.

…[Read More]

And sadly?

They are figuring it out…

To their very peril:

[via NYPost] Gaga should focus less on stunts, more on music ~By Hardeep Phullart pop deflated

Feeling tired? Irritable? Does the mere mention of words like “art” or “pop” give you a migraine? There’s no need to call your doctor, because Dr. Phull (music critic and in-house physician at The Post) can diagnose you right now. You’ve got a severe case of Gaga-itis. I should know. I’ve got a pretty strong dose of it myself. And man, it’s a killer.

The promotional campaign for Lady Gaga’s fourth album has been relentless. In the past two weeks alone, she’s cried at the YouTube Awards, been seen wearing a flying dress at her “Art Rave,” announced she’ll be singing in space and talked endlessly about an app that very few people are going to use. It’s been like an increasingly annoying Banksy residency — but with no end in sight.

…So what is the cure for Gaga-itis? Well, Dr. Phull is sad to inform you that medical science has nothing to offer. Gaga herself is the only person who can make things better by cutting back on the stunts and the promotional appearances, and actually write some good songs. She’s working too hard on being a celebrity but not hard enough on being a musician.

…[Read More]

The lesson to be learned here?

Historically, famous musicians/artists over the years are remembered for the MUSIC they make.

Rather than for the spectacle they present.

Music, people…

It lives LONG after all of fun of the spectacle is gone.

validated

News Mash – Spiders can dissolve you and are a force of evil!!!

For the most part?

Spiders scary me.

Of course, people tell me all the time how my fear of spiders is SO irrational.

Might I give you?

Exhibit A:

[via DailyMail] Woman’s ear turns black and DISSOLVES after being bitten by a spider – and has to be rebuilt using validatedcartilage from her ribs

  • The Dutch woman, 22, was bitten by a Mediterranean recluse spider in Italy
  • Part of her ear was liquefied by the venom and the skin and cartilage died
  • This is the first evidence the spiders’ venom can destroy cartilage
  • The dead tissue had to be cut away before her ear could be rebuilt

By Emma Innes

A Dutch woman’s ear turned black after she was bitten by a poisonous spider in Italy.

Part of the 22-year-old’s ear was liquefied by the Mediterranean recluse spider’s venom and the skin and cartilage died.

The woman’s experience is thought to be the first evidence that recluse spider venom can destroy cartilage.

The patient’s health problems began when she woke up with a painful ear one morning, LiveScience reports.

Her ear swelled up so, unaware she had been bitten by a spider, she visited a local hospital where she was given antihistamine.

Despite this treatment, the swelling and pain failed to subside.

By the time she returned to the Netherlands, part of her ear had turned back indicating the cells had died.

The woman sought medical help and doctors realised she had been bitten by a Mediterranean recluse spider as the creature’s venom is known to kill skin.

However, Dr Marieke van Wijk, a plastic surgeon involved in the patient’s care, explained this was the first time doctors had seen the spiders’ venom destroy cartilage as well as skin.

The spiders’ venom kills cells using a complex mixture of chemicals which break down proteins and there is no drug treatment that is known to be effective.

As a result, Dr van Wijk and her colleagues were forced to remove the dead tissue from the woman’s ear and then rebuild it using cartilage from her ribs.

…[Read More]

It freaking DISSOLVED her ear.

Did you see that part?

Wow.

And as if THAT wasn’t enough?

Might I present all you ‘Spiders Are EVIL’ nay-Sayers with this next bit of proof:

“…Find your envy and hatred…”

Yes.

And mixed with a little bit of blood, what do those horrible things make?

Spiders, people…

They make SPIDERS!

[Source]

Duh.

Movie ninjas are watching you

News Mash: Forget the need for ‘movie ninjas’, just give me my movie in gif form, please!

Is it just me?

Or is it getting harder and harder to brave the idiot, inconsiderate masses

To watch a movie.

No matter HOW good the movie may be:

Don’t know about you…

But, me?

Because nothing makes me madder than inconsiderate, rude people ruining my movie-going experience…

And that of course after I fork over an arm, leg and kidney for a bucket of popcorn and a drink at the cinema.

It all just makes me wanna skip going to the movies altogether, and just just rent a movie out of Redbox.

Or?

Thanks to THESE (below) geniuses…

Watching full movies via gif, is now an option:

[Source]

Though…

Fair warning?

Wow…

Some of them might be fairly seizure inducing.

Yikes.

Though, suffering idiots at the movies in comparison?

Yeah…

The seizures might just be work it.

Movie ninjas are watching you [Movie Ninjas Source]

KellyGaga

Poetic Celebrity Parody – Eat Your Cake, Edition!

Kelly Osbourne Tells Lady Gaga to “Eat My S***” After Singer Sends Birthday Cake

It looks like Kelly Osbourne does not want a slice of Lady Gaga‘s cake. The stylish E! staple is simply fuming after the “Applause” singer presented her with a sweet peace offering– received indirectly through the birthday girl’s also-famous mom.

Gaga,
You lying snake!
Take this special cake that I baked,
Fill your mouth
Until you pass out!
I know what you are all about
Lying hypocrite
I spread love
You spread sh**
Hashtag #Hissy fit

KellyGaga

[Source]

not for you

News Mash: New botox? Deadliest substance known to man! Meg Ryan…BEWARE!

Science, gawd love ’em…

Has created, what they are calling?

The DEADLIEST substance known to man.

Holy. Crap!

[via Gizmodo]The New Deadliest Substance Known to Man Is Top Secret (For Now) ~Adam Clark Estes

Scientists recently discovered a new type of botulinum toxin (a.k.a. botox) that they believe is the deadliest substance known to man. Because they’ve yet to discover an antitoxin, researchers won’t publish the details of gene sequence due to security concerns—a first for the scientific community. Thank God.

When scientists say this stuff is deadly, they mean it. It takes an injection of just 2 billionths of a gram or inhaling 13 billionths of a gram to kill an adult. A spoonful of the stuff in a city’s water supply could be catastrophic. The toxin, which comes from the bacterium Clostridium botulinum, blocks the chemical that makes nerves work, causing botulism and death by paralysis. In a comment accompanying a newly published journal article on the new botox, Stanford Medical School professor David Relman said the substance posed “an immediate and unusually serious risk to society.”

…[Read More]

Not that the news isn’t bad enough.

Yikes.

But the fact that this deadly substance…

Is a botox?

Does make me worry for certain portions of our populations:

[via LATimes]Meg Ryan is set to star in a new NBC comedy ~By Jessica Gelt

It’s been nearly 30 years since Meg Ryan had her own show on the small screen. But now she’s back. The star of “When Harry Met Sally” is set to take the lead in an as-yet-untitled comedy for NBC.

The half-hour, single-camera show was created by Marc Lawrence (“Family Ties”). Ryan will serve as executive producer alongside Jane Berliner for Universal Television and Lawrence’s Reserve Room Productions.

The last time Ryan was a lead on TV was in 1982, when she co-starred in “One of the Boys,” a comedy with Mickey Rooney, Dana Carvey and Nathan Lane. In 1985 she appeared on a show called “Wildside” that was canceled after a month. More recently she appeared on a number of episodes on Showtime’s “Web Therapy.”

…[Read More]

Don’t wanna be going all ‘Patient Zero‘ on us, by jacking with this stuff Meg Ryan…

Then proceeding to kill off the world, by spreading this deadly substance via face explosion. (Cause honestly, how many botox injections can one’s face take BEFORE it explodes from chemical overload? And do you really want to find out?)

Yes, it is a botox, and we ALL know how much you love your botox, Meg Ryan…

But this stuff is not for you:

not for you [Source]

Poetic Celebrity Parody – Love your face, Edition!

Gothic rocker Marilyn Manson is known for his intense look, complete with spooky, dark makeup and mismatched colored contacts, but in a new shot from the Eastbound & Down set, the singer, 44, is fresh faced and makeup free.

Masks
They helps us cope
When that inside voice
Tell us about our invisible imperfections
We then carry them daily
To hide our real I
Until they became our face

Love your face before it turns into a ridiculous mask

Marlyn Manson

[Source]

Land of the stupid

News Mash: Science say Americans are dumb & the ‘Carrie’ telekinetic video? Agrees!

Not gonna lie…

At first, when I read the article immediately below?

I was all like:

“Pffft, how dare some stupid, bureaucratic, probably government funded  organization call American’s STUPID!”

[via NYPost]US adults are dumber than the average human ~ APLand of the stupid

WASHINGTON — It’s long been known that America’s school kids haven’t measured well compared with international peers. Now, there’s a new twist: Adults don’t either.

In math, reading and problem-solving using technology – all skills considered critical for global competitiveness and economic strength – American adults scored below the international average on a global test, according to results released Tuesday.

Adults in Japan, Canada, Australia, Finland and multiple other countries scored significantly higher than the United States in all three areas on the test. Beyond basic reading and math, respondents were tested on activities such as calculating mileage reimbursement due to a salesman, sorting email and comparing food expiration dates on grocery store tags.

Not only did Americans score poorly compared to many international competitors, the findings reinforced just how large the gap is between the nation’s high- and low-skilled workers and how hard it is to move ahead when your parents haven’t.

In both reading and math, for example, those with college-educated parents did better than those whose parents did not complete high school.

The study, called the Program for the International Assessment of Adult Competencies, found that it was easier on average to overcome this and other barriers to literacy overseas than in the United States.

Researchers tested about 166,000 people ages 16 to 65 in more than 20 countries and subnational regions. The test was developed and released by the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, which is made up of mostly industrialized member countries. The Education Department’s Center for Education Statistics participated.

…[Read More]

And then?

Well…

*sniffs*

THIS:

[via Gizmodo]Watch This Girl With Telekinetic Powers Freak Out Coffee Shop Patrons ~Andrew Liszewski

This absolutely amazing and terrifying prank, where a girl with telekinetic powers appears to freak out in a coffee shop, is actually a publicity stunt for the upcoming remake of the film Carrie. But that doesn’t make it any less entertaining or awesome. Make sure you watch it all the way through, too, it just gets better and better.

…[Read More]

*sighs*

Yep.

Hmmm.

There are actually people out there who fell for this prank?

Alrighty, then…

The above article, about the stupidity of Americans?

Yes, OK, this video…

Sadly?

Explains a lot.

[Source]

will eat your flesh

News Mash: Miley Cyrus inspires regarding drugs choice. While krokodil? Even more so!

Ah, the wonders of celebrity opinion and knowledge…

Knows no bounds!

What would we do, after all…

Without celebrities around to tell us?

Which drugs are good (mmm, mmm!), and which drugs are (ew) bad!

[via Jezebel]Miley Cyrus Says Cocaine is ‘Gross,’ Her Heart Belongs to Weed ~Lindy West

Welp, Miley Cyrus went ahead and ranked all the drugs from “the best” to “ew,” with cocaine at the bottom and weed at the top. Not a bad assessment, really, if you’re going to draw up a what-drugs-should-I-do schematic.

The 20-year-old “We Can’t Stop” singer, who once said she was “disappointed” in herself for getting caught smoking salvia, now has no problems talking about her recreational drug use. In new outtakes from her recent Rolling Stone interview (which accompanied her topless cover shoot), the ex-child star raves that “weed is the best drug on earth,” especially compared to cocaine. MDMA — a.k.a. Molly — also gets a big thumbs up from the former Hannah Montana actress.

“One time I smoked a joint with peyote in it, and I saw a wolf howling at the moon,” Cyrus tells Rolling Stone contributing editor Josh Eells. “Hollywood is a coke town, but weed is so much better. And Molly, too. Those are happy drugs — social drugs. They make you want to be with friends. You’re out in the open. You’re not in a bathroom.”

She then laid the funniest burn on coke that I have ever heard.

“I really don’t like coke. It’s so gross and so dark. It’s like, what are you, from the ’90s? Ew.”

#actuallolz [Us]

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Seriously?

Don’t know about you…

But I am ever so glad Miley Cyrus is around, to be such a sterling role model for children everywhere!

She is just amazing, is she not?

*no*

Providing such USEFUL commentary on drugs, today…

By ‘telling’ kids which drugs they should do & not do by her fabulous ranking.

She is SUCH an inspiration.

*HELZ no*

OK, kids…

Step away from the Miley and allow me to provide you with some REAL inspiration regarding drugs:

[via Gawker]Flesh-Eating Drug Krokodil Finally Shows Up in the US ~Lacey Donohue

Krokodil, already a popular drug in Russia, has finally made its way to the United States. The Banner Poison Control Center in Arizona has reported two cases of the flesh-rotting drug’s use, believed to be the first in the US. The drug is a mixture of codeine and hydrocarbons like gasoline, paint thinner, or oil that is injected directly into veins. It’s named krokodil because once injected, it rots your skin from the inside out, causing an alligator skin-like appearance. It’s really, really gross. You probably want to avoid the YouTube videos.

will eat your flesh [Source]

Dr. Frank LoVecchio, the co-medical director at Banner’s Poison Control Center, said, “we’re extremely frightened.” He elaborates on the flesh-eating drugs that often sell for ten to 20 times less than the cost of heroin:

“They cause damage to the blood vessels damage to the tissue and there are horrific pictures from Russia that show skin literally falling off the bone.”

He also believes the two cases in Arizona are related, but wouldn’t say more except to add, “Where there is smoke there is fire, and we’re afraid there are going to be more and more cases.”

[Image via FOX 10]

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Do. Not. Do. Them!

All drugs are bad, and they pretty much all end?

In horrible, horrible things for you.

Stay away from drugs.

And yes, while you are at it?

Just go ahead and stay away from the twit Miley Cyrus too.

Jeez.