Poetic Celebrity Parody – The Art of Suffering, Edition!

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How much suffering is enough
To change to a skeletal man
From a buff

The art of suffering for art
Includes wasting away your body parts
Still the art of suffering is art.

News Mash: African ingenuity knows no bounds.

And by ‘no bound’ I mean none!

Looking back 71,000 years…

The accomplishments were mind-blowingly impressive by today’s standards:

[via ScienceNews] Archery may be an ancient pastime. Humans started making the components for arrows at least 71,000 years ago, archaeologists report online November 7 in Nature.

This reproduction demonstrates how Stone Age people might have hafted small stone blades to a wooden shaft to make arrows.
Benjamin Schoville

Kyle Brown of the University of Cape Town in South Africa and his colleagues unearthed thin stone blades at South Africa’s Pinnacle Point cave that appear to be arrow tips. The tiny artifacts were made from a type of stone called silcrete that had first been heated to make the rock easier to chip. Blunt edges indicate that people had hafted the blades onto wooden shafts to use with a bow or spear-thrower.

The team found the arrow points — which predate the next oldest evidence of arrows by several thousand years — throughout cave sediments spanning 11,000 years. The timing not only reveals that humans had the intellect to make bows and arrows back then, but also that they could pass on complicated instructions to build multipart tools over hundreds of generations, the researchers say.

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And let me just say…

That today’s standards, when it comes in ingenuity?

Pretty darn high.

[via io9] Oh, this? Just some teenage girls from Africa who invented a urine-powered generator. ~by Robert T. Gonzalez

How’s this for an innovative startup: four African girls — the eldest of which is just fifteen years old — have worked together to invent a generator that’s powered by urine. The group presented their creation at this year’s Maker Faire Africa, and it’s so freaking brilliant it makes me want travel back in time and punch 15-year-old me right in the solar plexus.

The Next Web lays out how it works:

  • Urine is put into an electrolytic cell, which cracks the urea into nitrogen, water, and hydrogen.
  • The hydrogen goes into a water filter for purification, which then gets pushed into the gas cylinder.
  • The gas cylinder pushes hydrogen into a cylinder of liquid borax, which is used to remove the moisture from the hydrogen gas.
  • This purified hydrogen gas is pushed into the generator.
  • 1 Liter of urine gives you 6 hours of electricity.

Here’s hoping these girls can get the funding they need to take this idea to new heights. Even if they don’t, we’ve got a feeling they’re going places.

Read more over at The Next Web.

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And to think…

Largely, most of Africa is considered ‘third world’, very undeveloped.

Hmm.

I tell you, its articles like the two above that, highlighting the amazing accomplishments they developed, which I hope should inspire people to look at it a bit differently.

Nope.

In fact, in instance such as these (see above)…

They are far ahead of the curve.

News Mash: The new ‘World War Z’ movie trailer & Gummy Bears made from human DNA – Say what?

The new World War Z trailer is out…

And let me just say, as far as zombie apocalypse movies go?

Looks pretty realistic to me.

In other words?

The movie goes all Contagion-like scary…

Regarding how the zombie plague would spread:

A U.N. employee is racing against time and fate, as he travels the world trying to stop the outbreak of a deadly Zombie pandemic.

Makes one wonder just how something like would start?

Oh, yeah…

Riigght.

It probably starts a lot like this:

[via Telegraph] Reports last week that researchers could be just six months away from producing the world’s first artificial meat, using thousands of stem cells bred in a laboratory, sent a wave of fascination around the world. Yet there is an even more ghoulish prospect ahead: the idea of eating artificial food made from humans.

This may sound like science fiction, yet a new technique for making gelatin from human DNA is attracting “increasing interest from research and industrial circles”, according to a new study by scientists from the Beijing University of Chemical Technology. The paper, published recently in the Journal of Agriculture and Food Chemistry, revealed that successful experiments had been carried out in which human genes were inserted into a strain of yeast to “grow” large amounts of recombinant (genetically engineered) human gelatin.

Gelatin has a long history of use as a gelling agent by the food industry – and, according to the journal’s publisher, the American Chemical Society, human-derived gelatin “could become a substitute for some of the 300,000 tons of animal-based gelatin produced annually for desserts, marshmallows, candy and innumerable other products”.

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Can I just ask…

On what burning level of hell, is this ok?

It’s not.

*nope*

Eating human DNA–Are you freaking KIDDING me with this?!?!

Not OK, people.

Not. OK. At. ALL!

What eating human DNA IS, is Zombie?

And because it is, may I please just refer you to the trailer at the top of this post.

*waits while you watch the trailer*

Seriously…

You want that?

No…

*shakes head sadly*

I don’t think you do.

Now put the freakin’ human DNA Gummy Bear down, and walk away people.

Just walk the hell away!

News Mash: When it comes to football, anything boys can do…Girls can do better? Huh?!

Girls are often told…

When it comes to full contact sports, such as football?

That they cannot compete with boys.

Oh really?

[via PopSci] …Erin DiMeglio, the first female quarterback to play high school football in Florida, made a splash by taking a spot on her team. But some research indicates it’s an uphill battle.

It may be a borderline-offensive schoolyard taunt, but “throws like a girl” has an element of truth. Studies suggest that girls often don’t throw as well as boys. (Boys v. girls is a little diminutive, but it’s an important distinction; we’ll get to that.) In fact, the “throwing gap,” as it’s called, is one of the biggest differences between the genders. It’s not just the largest gap in physical activities–although it’s the largest gap in that field–it’s possibly the most salient gap. Period.

Before puberty, the physical differences between boys and girls (see?) aren’t enough to account for the throwing gap; structurally, their bodies should produce the same distance and speed in a throw. Nonetheless, girls are more likely to, for example, throw in a dart-tossing motion or step forward with the incorrect foot, which means a weaker throw. The age group from Hyde’s report still falls into post-pubescence, when those natural, physical differences in size and muscle can distort the data, but even at age 4, says Jerry Thomas, dean of the College of Education at the University of North Texas in Denton, the difference is three times higher than any other motor function. In the U.S., where we’re so proud of The National Pastime, the effect of doting parents vetting their boys while letting the girls slide on the skill has an effect–the same way it does anywhere baseball or other throwing-heavy sports are popular–but Thomas has researched this, too.

To account for the effects of nurturing, Thomas studied aboriginal children in Australia, who throw the same amount regardless of gender. The girls threw tennis balls at about eight-tenths the velocity of their male counterparts. In the U.S. that’s only slightly more pronounced, as The Washington Post points out, with girls throwing about 51 to 78 percent of the velocity. That suggests there’s some kind of explanation in addition to nurture.

Thomas pegs evolution for that, hypothesizing that throwing was the most important trait for hunting, and that the best (male) hunter was more likely to pass on his genes with the woman of his choosing. There’s no way to test that theory, of course–“It’s not one of those things you can go back and randomly assign people to groups and try to figure out”–but the other skills he studied, like running and jumping, would be more necessary for both sexes to use, so might account for why the gap is less pronounced today. Skills that might not be used as much by either sex, even ones as similar as underhand throwing, as opposed to ready-for-the-buffalo-slaying overhand, wouldn’t show the same difference.

…[Read More]

There are plenty of boys chasing this little girl but they are not after a kiss on the school playground – they are trying to tackle her on the football pitch.

Only problem is that nine-year-old Sam Gordon is too fast for them to catch, earning her the nickname Sweet Feet.

What started as a way to keep up with her big brother, has turned Sam into a star player in her local, all-boys football league in Utah, becoming one of the fastest children in the Salt Lake City area ‘Gremlins’ league as well as breaking and making tackles among the much bigger players.

After outrunning the boys in various speed and agility drills, Sam was made quarterback for her team.

Now a video posted online by her father Brent Gordon showing her play highlights has gone viral as people continue to be amazed at what the young, fearless girl can do and she has only been playing for a year.

Her coach Chris Staib was quoted by Yahoo!Sports saying: ‘She could cut and follow blocks like a college football player.’

…[Read More]

Just remember boys…

Anything you can do?

Sometimes she can do better.

Maybe not ALL the time…

But definitely some of the time.

So check the taunts, eh boys?

Cause there is always that ONE girl you taunt…

Who can back up her junk.

It’s a whole lot harder to shine than to undermine, and the weakest do, a man’s faith, self-respect!

I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man’s self-respect is a sin.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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“Those who are failures from the start, downtrodden, crushed — it is they, the weakest, who must undermine life among men, who call into question and poison most dangerously our trust in life, in man, and in ourselves.”
~ Friedrich Nietzsche