News Mash: Romney the harbringer of the zombie apocalypse…Just in time for Halloween!

This Halloween season, this security firm is NOT jacking around.

Especially when it comes to the possibility of a very, merry…

Zombie apocalypse Halloween!

They will be ready.

[via The Blaze] (TheBlaze/AP) — Move over vampires, goblins and haunted houses, this kind of Halloween terror aims to shake up even the toughest warriors: An untold number of so-called zombies are coming to a counterterrorism summit attended by hundreds of Marines, Navy special ops, soldiers, police, firefighters and others to prepare them for their worst nightmares.

“This is a very real exercise, this is not some type of big costume party,” said Brad Barker, president of Halo Corp, a security firm hosting the Oct. 31 training demonstration during the summit at a 44-acre Paradise Point Resort island on a San Diego bay. “Everything that will be simulated at this event has already happened, it just hasn’t happened all at once on the same night. But the training is very real, it just happens to be the bad guys we’re having a little fun with.”

Announced back in September, hundreds of military, law enforcement and medical personnel are now gathering to observe the Hollywood-style production of a zombie attack as part of their emergency response training.

In the scenario, a VIP and his personal detail are trapped in a village, surrounded by zombies when a bomb explodes. The VIP is wounded and his team must move through the town while dodging bullets and shooting back at the invading zombies. At one point, some members of the team are bit by zombies and must be taken to a field medical facility for decontamination and treatment.

“No one knows what the zombies will do in our scenario, but quite frankly no one knows what a terrorist will do,” Barker said. “If a law enforcement officer sees a zombie and says, `Freeze, get your hands in the air!’ What’s the zombie going to do? He’s going to moan at you. If someone on PCP or some other psychotic drug is told that, the truth is he’s not going to react to you.”

The keynote speaker beforehand will be a retired top spook – former CIA Director Michael Hayden.

“No doubt when a zombie apocalypse occurs, it’s going to be a federal incident, so we’re making it happen,” Barker said. Since word got out about the exercise, they’ve had calls from “every whack job in the world” about whether the U.S. government is really preparing for a zombie event.

Called “Zombie Apocalypse,” the exercise follows the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s campaign launched last year that urged Americans to get ready for a zombie apocalypse, as part of a catchy, public health message about the importance of emergency preparedness.

…[Read More]

And if Joss Whedon is right, and…

Romney gets elected to be our next president?

We’re gonna need ’em!

One thing to definitely remember this Halloween?

Zombies are all fun and games, until someone looses an eye…

Cause it was eaten by a zombie!

And, per Joss, all thanks to the man you might very well elect to be the harbinger of the zombie apocalypse.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Shame on You!

So vote wisely, my friends, with this very thing in mind.

And…

News Mash: Can’t we have a scary & fun Halloween without the need for a safety word? Huh, please?

One of the best things about Halloween?

The haunted houses.

These things are everywhere…

And in some states, they are FAR more ‘everywhere’ than others:

[via CBS] (MoneyWatch) And the haunted house capital of the world is… Kansas City, Mo. That should be no surprise, because the city is home to some of the most popular scream factories around. That includes America’s largest haunted house, “The Edge of Hell,” a popular attraction that holds the Guinness World Record for the largest anaconda in captivity… [Read More]

What’s not to love about a good haunted house, eh?

Some good, old fashion…

In your face scares, real-time!

Unless?

Yeah…

Some just take it TOO far.

[via Cracked] Let’s get one thing clear right away. I was not excited about visiting the Blackout Haunted House. It’s not that I’d heard bad things about the place. It’s more that there are only bad things to hear. The Blackout is a haunted house in the same way that Guantanamo Bay is a haunted house. You won’t see a guy in a werewolf mask stabbing a rubber baby or anything like that, but you will see lots of nudity and simulated rape.

Schemes at past incarnations of the Blackout Haunted House have produced horrifying stories of patrons forced to suck on bloody tampons and, in some cases, endure a good old American waterboarding. Here’s some video, to give you an idea of what kind of ride we’re talking about:

Did you hear the girl yelling “Safety!” at the end? That’s because they give you a safe word, and that safe word, fittingly, is “safety.” It’s that kind of place. Some people, after paying ticket prices of up to $50, just have to be rescued from the terror. …[Read More, if you DARE 7 Insane Moments in the World’s Most Hardcore Haunted House!]

And by ‘too far’, I mean needing a safety word just to get through it.

No.

Oh, Helz no.

That’s my hard line for me, when it comes to scares.

Safety words need not apply…

At least not during MY Halloween.

Hope they don’t apply for yours either.

News Mash: Fact, Folklore and the History of Halloween, 2012!

Huge fan of Halloween here.

H U G E

With that said, every year at this time, here on Anguished Repose one can easily stumble across a post that has to do with the facts,  history and folklore of this most magnificent holiday.

Honestly…

Did you think THIS year would be any different?

Pfffft

[via HalloweenHistory] History of Halloween

Halloween is a holiday celebrated on the night of October 31.  The word Halloween is a shortening of All Hallows’ Evening also known as Hallowe’en or All Hallows’ Eve.

Traditional activities include trick-or-treating, bonfires, costume parties, visiting “haunted houses” and carving jack-o-lanterns. Irish and Scottish immigrants carried versions of the tradition to North America in the nineteenth century. Other western countries embraced the holiday in the late twentieth century including Ireland, the United States, Canada, Puerto Rico and the United Kingdom as well as of Australia and New Zealand.

Halloween has its origins in the ancient Celtic festival known as Samhain (pronounced “sah-win”).
The festival of Samhain is a celebration of the end of the harvest season in Gaelic culture. Samhain was a time used by the ancient pagans to take stock of supplies and prepare for winter. The ancient Gaels believed that on October 31, the boundaries between the worlds of the living and the dead overlapped and the deceased would come back to life and cause havoc such as sickness or damaged crops.

The festival would frequently involve bonfires. It is believed that the fires attracted insects to the area which attracted bats to the area. These are additional attributes of the history of Halloween.

Masks and costumes were worn in an attempt to mimic the evil spirits or appease them.

Trick-or-treating, is an activity for children on or around Halloween in which they proceed from house to house in costumes, asking for treats such as confectionery with the question, “Trick or treat?” The “trick” part of “trick or treat” is a threat to play a trick on the homeowner or his property if no treat is given. Trick-or-treating is one of the main traditions of Halloween. It has become socially expected that if one lives in a neighborhood with children one should purchase treats in preparation for trick-or-treaters.

The history of Halloween has evolved.  The activity is popular in the United States, the United Kingdom, Ireland, Canada, and due to increased American cultural influence in recent years, imported through exposure to US television and other media, trick-or-treating has started to occur among children in many parts of Europe, and in the Saudi Aramco camps of Dhahran, Akaria compounds and Ras Tanura in Saudi Arabia. The most significant growth and resistance is in the United Kingdom, where the police have threatened to prosecute parents who allow their children to carry out the “trick” element. In continental Europe, where the commerce-driven importation of Halloween is seen with more skepticism, numerous destructive or illegal “tricks” and police warnings have further raised suspicion about this game and Halloween in general.

In Ohio, Iowa, and Massachusetts, the night designated for Trick-or-treating is often referred to as Beggars Night.

Part of the history of Halloween  is Halloween costumes. The practice of dressing up in costumes and begging door to door for treats on holidays goes back to the Middle Ages, and includes Christmas wassailing. Trick-or-treating resembles the late medieval practice of “souling,” when poor folk would go door to door on Hallowmas (November 1), receiving food in return for prayers for the dead on All Souls Day (November 2). It originated in Ireland and Britain, although similar practices for the souls of the dead were found as far south as Italy. Shakespeare mentions the practice in his comedy The Two Gentlemen of Verona (1593), when Speed accuses his master of “puling [whimpering, whining], like a beggar at Hallowmas.”

…[Read More] [Read More Halloween History HERE!]

Seriously…

You didn’t think this year would be any different did you?

Honestly…

Where’s the fun in that?

*shakes head sadly*

Not paying the respect homage due to Halloween TO Halloween, on Halloween?

Yeah…

Never a risk of that happening here, my friends.

No. Ever.

So, please, have a safe and a very fantastic one…

Voices whisper in the trees, “Tonight is Halloween!” When hell itself breathes out, “Thriller Night!”

‘Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world.
~William Shakespeare

[Source]

Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen,
Voices whisper in the trees, “Tonight is Halloween!”
~Dexter Kozen

BREAKING NEWS: Looters on the brink, as NYC goes dark!

If you live in New York, during these present harrowing times…

Are hearts and prayers, here at Anguished Repose goes out to you.

Cause, seriously…

How freaking scary is THIS:

[via AP]Mammoth storm Sandy plunges NYC into darkness

NEW YORK (AP) — Much of New York was plunged into darkness Monday by a superstorm that overflowed the city’s historic waterfront, flooded the financial district and subway tunnels and cut power to nearly a million people.

…[Read More]

Be safe, East Coasters.

Stay indoors until things settle down.

Because unfortunately?

There are a lot of a**holes out there, bursting at the seams to take advantage of this catastrophe.

[via infowars]Scores of Twitter users have flooded the social networking site announcing their plans to go on looting sprees once Hurricane Sandy makes landfall, as the New York National Guard announced it would put troops on duty in Long Island to prevent such activity.

1,175 New York National Guard troops have been mobilized to “provide command and control and logistical support” in New York City, Long Island, the Hudson Valley and the Southern Tier. According to NBC New York, the troops will also be on hand to “protect against looting.”

They might well be needed given the fact that a deluge of Twitter users are using the website to appeal to others to join them in exploiting the chaos generated by the superstorm to ransack stores.

Given the recent phenomenon of “flash mob robberies,” where groups of people arrange to burgle a store en masse in order to overwhelm security and staff, the tweets should be taken seriously.

…[Read More]

If they do this?

These possible looters?

Scumbags…

Every freaking one of them!

Just as well?

As being high susceptible to being good for target practice …

I’m just saying.

Forewarned & all that, so looters? yeah, might wanna rethink.

Poetic Celebrity Parody – The Golden Puppy, Edition!

It’s called a goldendoodle, and for the amount that Usher paid it could well be made of gold.
The rapper shelled out an astonishing $12,000 on the puppy.
But it was all in the name of charity, with Usher bidding at the Pencils of Promise Gala in New York on Thursday.
Judging by the happy look on Usher’s face when he was handed his furry prize with the pink leash, it was money well spent.
A Goldendoodle is a cross-breed between a golden retriever and a poodle and they are coveted for their temperament as well as their coat, which sheds less.
Szohr apparently bid an impressive $11,000 for the pooch, but Usher beat that by $1,000.

When our eyes met
Love hit me like a bolt
My heart melted
My desire grew
I wanted it
I wanted it
The golden curls
The little nose
The beating of the heart
Then the 12,000 dollars stood between us
The golden puppy went to somebody else
The doodle is not mine!

[Source]

News Mash: Exercise is good for your brain…Unless you damage your brain, while jumping a car, during exercise!

Doing general exercise-like activity, with the intent of exertion, to get that much craved boost of endorphins…

Is not a boon all it’s own.

Nope.

Sometimes?

It’s just dangerous and should be avoided, by certain individuals (STUPID)…

All together.

A Young Palm Bay Florida Man, Bladimir Barreto, Attempts To Jump Car And Fails With Devastating Results.

Bladimir Barreto of Palm Bay Florida attempted to jump over a moving car driven by his brother while being filmed by another brother.

From the video released by the Palm Bay Police it appears he started his jump too late and was hit by the car.

He flipped several times and landed in the middle of the road.

Barreto suffered multiple injuries including compound fractures of his legs and a serious head injury.

The video was to be used to display his athletic abilities to football recruiters.

According to Palm Bay Officer Andrew Pidgeon charges are pending against the 17-year-old brother for driving without a license and possibly reckless driving.

But, for everybody else? (i.e. NOT stupid)

No exercise is bad you.

In fact exercise makes you happy…

And here’s how:

[via LifeHacker] What Happens to Our Brains During Exercise (and Why it Makes Us Happier)~ by Leo Widrich


Most of us are aware of what happens to the body when we exercise. We build more muscle or more stamina. We feel how daily activities like climbing stairs becomes easier if we exercise regularly. When it comes to our brain and mood though, the connection isn’t so clear. Leo Widrich, co-founder of social media sharing app Buffer, set out to uncover the connection between feeling happy and exercising regularly.

What triggers happiness in our brain when we exercise?

“Yes, yes, I know all about it, that’s the thing with the endorphins, that makes you feel good and why we should exercise and stuff, right?” is what I can hear myself say to someone bringing this up. I would pick up things here and there, yet really digging into the connection of exercise and how it effects us has never been something I’ve done. The line around our “endorphins are released” is more something I throw around to sound smart, without really knowing what it means.

Here is what actually happens:

If you start exercising, your brain recognizes this as a moment of stress. As your heart pressure increases, the brain thinks you are either fighting the enemy or fleeing from it. To protect yourself and your brain from stress, you release a protein called BDNF (Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor). This BDNF has a protective and also reparative element to your memory neurons and acts as a reset switch. That’s why we often feel so at ease and like things are clear after exercising.

At the same time, endorphins, another chemical to fight stress, are released in your brain. Your endorphins main purpose are this, writes researcher MK McGovern:

“These endorphins tend to minimize the discomfort of exercise, block the feeling of pain, and are even associated with a feeling of euphoria.”

…[Read More]

With that in mind…

Barring any momentary breaks from insanity, into Stupidville (see location of ‘Stupidville’ showcased above0, or course?

Don’t you deserve that which makes you happy?

Why, yes…

Yes you do.

So…

Why not exercise?

Why not, indeed.

News Mash: Prevent ‘brain shrinkage’ by exercising, before it’s too late!

Besides just making you feel good?

Exercise is good for so MANY different things.

Including?

Uh…

Brain shrinkage?

[via io9] Exercise may be the key to preventing brain shrinkage in old age ~ by Tim Barribeau

A research article published in Neurology found that people in their seventies who were more physically active showed less brain shrinkage over the course of three years. Unfortunately, socially and mentally stimulating situations didn’t seem to have an effect, but something as simple as going for a walk a few times a week lead to the people retaining more grey matter in their brain, as well as having less damage to their white matter.

Simultaneously, a paper has been released in the Archives of Neurology looking at patients over the age of 90. They found that those with poor physical performance were significantly more likely to suffer from dementia. In the paper, they say:

Our cross-sectional study found a strong dose-dependent association between poor physical performance and dementia in the oldest old, with higher odds of dementia associated with poorer physical performance.The results reveal that even modest declines in physical performance are associated with increased odds of dementia. The strongest association is seen with gait slowing, followed by five chair stands, grip strength and standing balance.

[Read More]

Well…

Huh.

Maybe not ALL exercise is good for brain shrinkage.

Especially?

If your brain has already shrunk.

Nope.

Sometimes?

Some forms of exercise comes far, FAR too late…

To save either your brain?

Or your bum.