Forget government issued black burial coffins, go custom coffins for the new & improved H1N1!!

Conspiracy theorists everywhere are insanely freaking out (i.e more than usual) over a growing number of black boxes being accumulated in Atlanta…

Which?

Just happens to be RIGHT by the Center For Disease Control (CDC) in Georgia.

Seriously…

Are we really freaking out about plastic boxes now?

[via io9] Are coffins being stored in Atlanta for a “high casualty event”?

For years, the internet has swirled with rumors about a large number of black plastic containers stored along a stretch of interstate near Atlanta. Conspiracy theorists dubbed the black containers coffins, and hypothesized that they were being stored for a planned or foreseen event that would cause the deaths of millions of North Americans.

This conspiracy rumormill really kicked into high gear when people began considering the proximity of the coffins to the busiest airport in the world, as well as the Centers for Disease Control (cue The Walking Dead theme). So what are these containers really for? Let’s take a look.

Top image: Google satellite view of one of the suggested storage locations, possibly showing stacks of black containers.

Are coffins being stored in Atlanta for a "high casualty event"? Are the containers coffins?

Eerie black containers placed along Interstate 20 running through Madison, Georgia were noticed by citizens living in the area in 2008. Speculation stirred due to their close proximity to Atlanta, Georgia (the location of the Center for Disease Control and a large international airport) that these containers were coffins in a holding pattern, waiting to be dispersed throughout the country due to a foreseen high causality event in the United States. Early estimates made from photos of the site declared there to be half a million two-piece “coffins” stacked along the interstate.

Upon further inspection, something coffin-like certainly exists at the site. Reports show the land to be leased by Vantage Products in Covington, Georgia, roughly 25 miles away from the Madison site. Images of these containers fit a product that Vantage markets as a burial vault – an air-tight polypropylene container of considerable size. These burial vaults are produced in two pieces (so they can be stacked) and they fit around a coffin to prevent damage from water and microbes. Given that these containers are burial vaults, it’s no surprise that they would be stored outside – they could be easily be washed when needed, and their final destination is six feet underground anyway. Keeping them outside is cost effective.

Yes, government did buy burial vaults

A search of U.S. Federal Government spending shows that a company by the name of PolyGuard Vaults does have a decade-long contract with the Federal Government to provide burial supplies. Starting in the fiscal year of 2000 and ending in 2009, the Department of Veterans Affairs spent over $1.7 million on plastic burial vaults through contracts with PolyGuard’s parent company, Rocky Mountain Products.

However, U.S. Federal Government through the Department of Veterans Affairs also bought $5.5 million worth of memorials during this time period. Looking into these contracts, especially in light of the purchase of additional memorial supplies, goes a long way to show that these burial vaults were intended for use by Department of Veterans Affairs in funeral services for active or retired soldiers. [Right...Cause we see soldiers buried in plastic coffins ALL THE TIME. *rolls eyes*]

While burial vaults are not required by all states (for example, New York doesn’t require them), they are recommended in many states to prevent water from seeping into the coffin, rotting it, and then causing the earth above it to cave in. So it would seem that the money spent on these burial vaults only went to provide soldiers with a proper burial.

So what about those FEMA and CDC connections?

Conspiracies typically revolve around the Georgia site (there are some conspiracy theories vaults in Indiana and Missouri too, however). Vantage, owner of the burial vaults at the Georgia site, does not have any government contracts. Confusion appears to arise from a lack of separation between PolyGuard and Vantage, with most believing them to be the same company. We contacted both PolyGuard and Vantage, and they confirmed that they are indeed separate, competing companies. This is a fact often overlooked in conspiracies involving the FEMA coffins, as Polyguard has the government contract (and is based in Wyoming); however, Vantage owns the burial vaunts near Atlanta, GA and the CDC.

In other words, the government does not own the burial vaults near the Atlanta airport. There is no connection between government agencies like FEMA and the vaults.

Are coffins being stored in Atlanta for a "high casualty event"?If these containers were for a mass casualty event, why would the government bury the dead?

The containers are rather large – this lends credence to the burial vault point of view. Conspiracy theorists say they’re for efficiently doing away with multiple bodies. However, why would a government stack containers next to the freeway so that they could “bury” bodies secretly? Especially in the case of infectious disease, it would be much easier to burn the bodies or perform mass burials. If half a million people died quickly and the bodies (infectious or non-infectious) needed to be destroyed, I highly doubt the government would be conducting proper burials.

Images from NWO Thesis, Google Images, Above Top Secret (musselwhite), and PolyGuard Vaults. Sources linked within the article. [Read More]

Yeah, apparently we are. Thankfully the io9 author (who wrote the article above) makes quick work to dispel any worry..

And I am comforted.

However (grabs tinfoil hat), I can’t help but wonder if these freakish burial vaults were dismissed too quickly as part of some nefarious conspiracy, for two reasons:

1) Where’s the fun in that?!

and…

2) Not that these two articles (the one above and the one immediately below) are connected, or anything…

Other than by me and made news mashing skills, but guess what?

Science has played around with the H1N1 virus strand, and thanks to their experiments on this strain of bird flu virus, they have made it more contagious…

And a lot more deadly.

Not only that? But they are debating on whether the results of their Mad-Scientists-Run-Amok-EVIL should be made public, so we can ALL see what a big bunch of doofuses they are.

Aren’t they just awesome–Ya bioweapons!

[via NPR]Scientists and security specialists are in the midst of a fierce debate over recent experiments on a strain of bird flu virus that made it more contagious.

The big question: Should the results be made public?

Critics say doing so could potentially reveal how to make powerful new bioweapons.

The H5N1 virus has been circulating among birds and other animals in recent years. It’s also infected about 500 people. More than half died. But this dangerous virus has not caused widespread human disease because, so far, sick people haven’t been very contagious. If the virus evolves to spread as easily between people as seasonal flu, however, it could cause a devastating global pandemic. So in an attempt to stay ahead of H5N1, scientists have been tweaking its genes in the lab to learn more about how this virus works, and what it is capable of.

In September, one scientist made a stunning announcement. At a flu conference held in Malta, he said he’d done a lab experiment that resulted in bird flu virus becoming highly contagious between ferrets — the animal model used to study human flu infection. It seemed that just five mutations did the trick.

News of the results raised red flags for Dr. Thomas Inglesby, a bioterrorism expert and director of the Center for Biosecurity of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center.

“It’s just a bad idea for scientists to turn a lethal virus into a lethal and highly contagious virus. And it’s a second bad idea for them to publish how they did it so others can copy it,” says Inglesby. [Read More]

No–Really?

Scientists…

if nothing else showcases just how very much smarter they are than you? That last statement…

Says. It. All.

One quick thing…

Does my government-purchased, in-preparation-for-mass-causalities coffin come in any other designs…

Or does it just come in basic, plastic black?

[via Sun] HERE’S a strum of comfort as you climb that stairway to Heaven — a coffin featuring Jimmy Page’s guitar.

The “flight case” casket is emblazoned with a Les Paul axe like the one played by Led Zeppelin rock god Jimmy.

Other designs available for those who shun a sombre traditional coffin include a phone box, a ballet shoe — and a crate of veg with the jokey slogan: “Rest in Peas.”

All are the work of Guernsey company Creative Coffins, who also offer caskets shaped like a narrowboat, DJ turntables, a bottle of wine — and even one like a SKIP.

It’s one way to put the, er, “fun” in funeral. [Read More]

Cause that black plastic box, though spacious enough for you and a friend?

Is just SO depressing and demoralizing.

I mean, as if getting knocked-off by ego driven mad scientists in his pursuit of glory by creating a virus that would make the Bubonic Plague look like a sissy, isn’t bad enough…

Why add-to?