Daily Archives: April 24, 2012

gootan fireball
Apr 24 2012

News Mash: Cosmic rays the result of gamma-ray bursts? No. Gootans? Possibly.

Astrophysics…

You know, those extremely super smart guys, and smart to the point spare brain matter just leaks out of their ears, smearing us all in its annoying gray goo?

Not happy right about now.

And all because?

They are not saying there were WRONG about gamma-ray bursts being responsible for the origin of the strongest cosmic rays…

They just weren’t RIGHT.

[via Space] Mystery of cosmic rays deepens: The mystery of the origin of the strongest cosmic rays has deepened as new clues into key suspects, the most powerful explosions in the universe, suggest they are likely not potential culprits, researchers say. Gamma-ray bursts are the most powerful explosions in the universe.

They can emit as much energy as our sun during its entire 10-billion-year lifetime in anywhere from milliseconds to minutes. Some gamma-ray bursts are thought to be collapses of super massive stars — hypernovas — while others are thought to be collisions of black holes with other black holes or neutron stars,” said study co-author Spencer Klein of the U.S. Department of Energy’s Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory. “Both types produce brief but intense blasts of radiation.” New evidence may now rule out gamma-ray bursts as sources of these. Using the IceCube Neutrino Observatory at the South Pole in Antarctica, the boffins watched 300 gamma ray bursts (GRBs) while searching for the neutrinos that are believed to be linked with cosmic ray generation, and found none. “The unexpected absence of neutrinos from GRBs has forced a re-evaluation of the theory for production of cosmic rays and neutrinos in a GRB fireball and possibly the theory that high energy cosmic rays are generated in fireballs.”  [Read More]

Generated in fireballs?

Pffft, duh.

Most definitely.

Want to know the origin of these crazy-strong cosmic rays, brilliant astrophysicists?

Well, allow this lowly blogger enlighten you, these rays are obvious caused by…

Stupid Gootans.

You see?

They. Hate. US!

[via Weekly World News] Authorities confirmed that loud explosions heard across Nevada and California on Sunday morning were caused by alien ships from Planet Gootan.

The shots fired from Gootan ships rattled homes and prompted a flood of calls to law enforcement agencies on both sides of the Sierra Nevada. Thousands of people saw fireballs across the skies.

Astronomers quickly announced that the  fireballs were caused by a meteor that entered Earth’s atmosphere.  But WWN spoke with Dr. Susan Begley of the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials and she confirmed that the “fireballs” were actually laser missiles fired from alien spaceships from Planet Gootan.

“The Gootans are in the very first stages of their attack on Earth.  These were basically warning shots, telling us that they are here and that we’d better prepare,” Dr. Begley said.  ”Luckily, the United Nations has been preparing for the Gootan invasion for the last two decades.” [Read More]

They are so racist.

So, you see…

Mystery solved.

Feel free to thank me at any time.

Chealsea Handler
Apr 24 2012

Poetic Celebrity Parody – We Are Team Aniston, Edition!

We are team Aniston
My bestie and I
Suck it Angelina
Nobody loves you
You are not a girls’ girl
Like my bestie and I
We do each others hair and make-up
Smoke a joint and have bottle of vodka
Together
We do the girly stuff
Like gossiping about you
In the magazines with big pictures and bright colors
Who are you?
I am Chelsea Handler, Team Aniston
“Sorry darling,
I never heard about you.” comments Angelina

[Source]

I rock not roll
Apr 24 2012

News Mash: 2012 will see us either being ‘Precariously Balanced Rocks’, or not.

THIS (below) suggests that old saying: “You can’t unring a bell”…

People perfectly comfortable with the fact that there is just some information?

You do NOT want to know.

Topping that list, for example?

The End of the World.

If it was really happening, say in 2012, honestly…

Would you want to know?

[via TheExtinctionProtocol] April 23, 2012 – CENTRAL AMERICA – Mayan life is described in a sacred book called “Popol Vuh.” Kiril Novoselsky, a Russian professor, said it could be compared to the Bible, “but all information is in allegoric form.

There are some interpretations, but I think they are all far from the truth,” he said. All commentaries were either destroyed or written with the hieroglyphic script, which is difficult to read. “Most secrets are still hidden.

One of the most popular interpretations is the prophecy about the end of the days in 2012,” Novoselsky said. He mentioned the well-known esoteric researcher Drunvalo Melchisedek, who had discussed this question with Guatemalan priests and found out that the predicted transformation would be a process that would happen gradually—not in two days, but during 200 years.

“In their opinion, the year 2012 is a milestone of the old epoch and the beginning of something new, maybe the beginning of a new culture. [...] –Epoch Times [Read More]

If you did know, that this year?

End of the World? Totally happening.

What good would it do you?

It’s not like you could stop the world from shaking apart, crumbling out from beneath your feet…

Anymore than you could stop an earthquake.

Of which?

There have been so very many of them lately.

[via focus-fen]Strong earthquakes in the past 10 years as much as during the entire 20th century

Russian scientists announced last week alarming observations about the strong earthquakes that shook the Earth. In the first decade of the 21st century there were almost as many earthquakes measuring above 6.0 on the Richter scale as there were during the entire 20th century. 14 such cases were registered in the 2001-2011 period compared to 17 strong tremors during the 20th century, the Super 19 Minuti weekly reads.
Astrologists believe that this might have something to do with entering the Age of Aquarius. By a terrifying coincidence it was on 11 March 2011 that the Fukushima disaster happened.
Seismologists have not disregarded the planetary influences that their colleagues “star-gazers” study. Still, they consider the excessive drilling for new energy sources to be a more influential factor. In the U.S. for example the shale gas revolution has led to a sharp increase of earthquakes. [Read More]

My advice.

Stop the needless worry, and quite borrowing trouble.

What is meant to happen, WILL happen regardless of your knowledge…

Or lack thereof.

And what is meant to last, despite your lack of understanding?

[via OurAmazingPlanet] SAN DIEGO — In the western San Bernardino Mountains, near the highway that links Los Angeles and Las Vegas, scientists recently discovered a geological mystery: colossal rocks perched in precarious poses right next door to the San Andreas Fault.

It’s not the rocks’ balancing act that is perplexing, said Lisa Grant Ludwig, a scientist who presented this puzzle to colleagues this week here at the annual meeting of the Seismological Society of America. It’s how the rocks have managed to stay that way with such an aggressive maker of powerful earthquakes just a few miles away.

Rocks with seemingly acrobatic balance are seen all over the world. Meteorological and geological forces wash away the material around them, leaving the giant rocks balanced like a top. There’s even a term for them: Precariously Balanced Rocks, or PBRs for short, said Ludwig, an assistant professor at the University of California, Irvine. [...]

That’s what makes the San Bernardino PBRs so very strange. There are two pockets of more than a dozen of the gracefully balancing rocks, and some are only 4 miles (7 kilometers) from the fault. [...]

Seismic mystery

Subsequent dating research revealed that the rocks had been standing in their positions for millennia — in some cases as long as 18,000 years. “That’s a long time for something that is so close to a big fault,” Ludwig said.

It’s not clear why violent shaking has apparently spared the two small pockets near the fault where the rocks still stand. “I think it shows an area of complexity in the fault rupture,” Ludwig said, “and that is what a lot of my colleagues seem to agree on in the discussion.” [Read More]

Will last.

And it will do so…

Forever!

Practice being a PBR.

Let nothing move you.

Benjamin The Re-Animator
Apr 24 2012

News Mash: Albert Einstein & Benjamin Franklin not quite so paragonare?

When you hear two names, Albert Einstein & Benjamin Franklin…

You know who (old white dudes with funky hair) they are & what (generally) they have done:   E = mc² & flew kites in lightning storms.

These two men? Set the bar pretty darn high when it comes to life achievements that you will never come CLOSE to accomplishing in your waste of a life.

You wouldn’t be wrong.

However…

You might be slightly surprised to learn?

That despite the high bars they have forever left for the rest of us to attempt to clear on history, and FAIL! miserably…

These two memorable men were not quite the paragons that the sheer magnitude of their achievements, leave MOST people to believe.

They, in fact, were extremely faulty…

Very much like the rest of us who are not quite so paragonare.

[via Daily mail] He remains one of the world’s most important scientists.

But despite his innumerable professional successes, Einstein found it impossible to sustain a successful personal life.

In his book, Einstein: His Life and Universe, Walter Isaacson describes how Albert Einstein found maintaining a harmonious love life a battle he would never win.

In fact, so pragmatic was Einstein’s approach to love, that when he found his 11 year marriage to fellow scientist Mileva Maric was floundering, he issued a list of outrageous rules that he believed would allow the two to remain together for the sake of the children.

The list, published in full below, is a set of demands that would see Maric become more maidservant than lover.

Einstein was driven to write the list when, in 1914,he realised that after 11 years, his marriage to first wife Maric – one of the first women to study mathematics and physics in Europe – was destined for failure.

Realising that salvaging their personal relationship was a lost cause, ever the pragmatist, Einstein proposed that he and Maric should stay together for the sake of the children.

But with his proposal came an austere list of demands to which his wife must adhere.

Shockingly the list demanded Maric continue to act as maid to her erstwhile husband – yet should expect no affection or attention in return.

The scientist demanded that she keep his rooms tidy, bring him three meals a day (to be eaten in his room), keep his clothes and laundry in good order, and keep his bedroom and study neat (she should not use his desk, of course).

There would seemingly be no benefits to Maric in return. In fact, Einstein stipulates in his list of conditions, printed in Isaacson’s book (via website listsofnote.com), that she must not expect Einstein to either sit with her, or accompany her outside of the house – and she must stop talking when he requests.

She must ‘renounce all personal relations’ not strictly essential for social reasons – which should not include expecting to be accompanied on social engagements.

In addition, Einstein stipulated that his wife should not expect any intimacy from him, should not reproach him in any way; should stop talking to him if he requested it; should leave his bedroom or study immediately without protest if requested, and should refrain from belittling him in front of the  children, either through words or behaviour.[Read More]

That is, of course…

If it could simply be considered a ‘faulty’?

To have 10 bodies discovered in one’s basement.

[via io9] In 1998, a group called the Friends of Benjamin Franklin House began renovations on Franklin’s London residence, No. 36 Craven Street, and discovered a nasty surprise: 1,200 pieces of bone from 10 bodies, six of which were children. And the bodies were buried in the basement around the time Franklin was living in the house.

No, Franklin didn’t engage in a murder spree in between penning Poor Richard’s Almanack and flying kites in lightning storms. In fact, it’s unlikely [But can one really ever rule ANYTHING suspect out, hmmm? Especially if you have an imagination like mine!] that the bodies were murder victims at all. The bones were sawed through and bore scalpel marks, suggesting the bodies were used for an anatomical study. And it just so happens that Franklin’s dear friend William Hewson, whose mother-in-law owned Franklin’s home, was a student of the famed anatomist William Hunter. Historical speculation holds that Hewson, after digging up these bodies or paying a “resurrection man” for the remains, set up a lab in Franklin’s basement for his own anatomical studies. [Read More]

Cause if so?

I definitely think it brings that “You will never be as awesome as me” Paragon of Perfection-Achievement Bar down to a more manageable level for the rest of us…

Don’t you think?

north korea migraine
Apr 24 2012

Aporia Politico: North Korea gives me a migraine!

Just imagine…

Someone ramming foot-long wooden splinters up your nose and into your brain. Hold that excruciating thought a second. Got it?

Good.

THAT is what migraine sufferers go through.

Though science, thanks to brain freezes? Might be on a path to combating such pain.

[via FoxNews] Most people have likely experienced brain freeze — the debilitating, instantaneous pain in the temples after eating something frozen — but researchers didn’t really understand what causes it, until now.

Previous studies have found that migraine sufferers are actually more likely to get brain freeze than people who don’t get migraines. Because of this, the researchers thought the two might share some kind of common mechanism or cause, so they decided to use brain freeze to study migraines.

[...]

The researchers brought on brain freeze in the lab by having 13 healthy volunteers sip ice water through a straw right up against the roof of their mouth. The volunteers raised their hands when they felt the familiar brain freeze come on, and raised them again once it disappeared.

The researchers monitored the blood flow through their brains using an ultrasoundlike process on the skull. They saw that increased blood flow to the brain through a blood vessel called the anterior cerebral artery, which is located in the middle of the brain behind the eyes. This increase in flow and resulting increase in size in this artery brought on the pain associated with brain freeze. [Top 10 Mysteries of the Mind]

When the artery constricts, reining in the response to this increased flow, the pain disappears. The dilation, then quick constriction, of this blood vessel may be a type of self-defense for the brain, the researchers suggested.[...]

This influx of blood can’t be cleared as quickly as it is coming in during the brain freeze, so it could raise the pressure inside the skull and induce pain that way. As the pressure and temperature in the brain rise, the blood vessel constricts, reducing pressure in the brain before it reaches dangerous levels.

If other headaches work in the same way, drugs that stop these blood vessels from opening up, or that could make this blood vessel constrict could help treat them, the researchers say.[Read More]

Though…

If these scientists wanted to induce severe headache, migraine-like pain in individuals?

Researchers could have easily provided the (above) test subjects the latest North Korea political news.

[via Yahoo News] North Korea’s military Monday threatened “special actions” soon to turn parts of the South Korean capital to ashes, accusing Seoul’s conservative government of defaming its leadership.

The North has for months been criticising the South’s President Lee Myung-Bak in extreme terms and threatening “sacred war” over perceived insults.

There have been no incidents but the language has become increasingly vitriolic. Some analysts said they believe a military provocation is likely.

“The special actions of our revolutionary armed forces will start soon to meet the reckless challenge of the group of traitors,” said a statement on the official news agency.

The North said its targets are “the Lee Myung-Bak group of traitors, the arch criminals, and the group of rat-like elements including conservative media destroying the mainstay of the fair public opinion”.

It said the actions “will reduce all… to ashes in three or four minutes… by unprecedented peculiar means and methods of our own style”. [Read More]

Such vitriolic political talk?

gives me a headache…

Not to mention a slight increase in anxiety?

Every time.

Jeez, North Korea.

love is always open arms
Apr 24 2012

My blood, my life…Family means putting your arms around each other. Love is always open arms!

“A Hug Is Two Hearts Wrapped In Arms”

[Source]

“To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there.”
~ Barbara Bush