best two out of three

Poetic Celebrity Parody – A Hooker Bunny For Easter?

I like those odds
Best two out of three
Cause it’s not like ‘eternal redemption’…
Is a path for me.

Have you seen my hooker shoes
And my fluffy bunny tail
You say this is a religious day?
Well, by my outfit you sure as heck couldn’t tell!
[Source]

have a happy Easter

News Mash: Live, laugh, love up this fabulous Easter holiday!

Whether you celebrate Easter with a religious fervor…

Or?

If you are just out celebrating Easter for the marshmallow peeps, if one thing is certain, it is this…

Easter is a fantastic holiday, no matter HOW you choose to celebrate it!

But…

Do you know it’s origins?

[via PhancyPages] Since its conception as a holy celebration in the second century, Easter has had its non-religious side. In fact, Easter was originally a pagan festival.                      

The ancient Saxons celebrated the return of spring with an uproarious festival commemorating their goddess of offspring and of springtime, Eastre. When the second-century Christian missionaries encountered the tribes of the north with their pagan celebrations, they attempted to convert them to Christianity. They did so, however, in a clandestine manner.

It would have been suicide for the very early Christian converts to celebrate their holy days with observances that did not coincide with celebrations that already existed. To save lives, the missionaries cleverly decided to spread their religious message slowly throughout the populations by allowing them to continue to celebrate pagan feasts, but to do so in a Christian manner.

As it happened, the pagan festival of Eastre occurred at the same time of year as the Christian observance of the Resurrection of Christ. It made sense, therefore, to alter the festival itself, to make it a Christian celebration as converts were slowly won over. The early name, Eastre, was eventually changed to its modern spelling, Easter.

[…]

The Easter Bunny is not a modern invention. The symbol originated with the pagan festival of Eastre. The goddess, Eastre, was worshipped by the Anglo-Saxons through her earthly symbol, the rabbit.  The Easter bunny has its origin in pre-Christian fertility lore. The Hare and the Rabbit were the most fertile animals known and they served as symbols of the new life during the spring season.

The Germans brought the symbol of the Easter rabbit to America.  The bunny as an Easter symbol seems to have it’s origins in Germany, where it was first mentioned in German writings in the 1500s. The first edible Easter bunnies were made in Germany during the early 1800s. The first bunnies were not made of chocolate; they were made of pastry and sugar.

It was widely ignored by other Christians until shortly after the Civil War. In fact, Easter by its self was not widely celebrated in America until after that time.

As I mentioned the Easter bunny was introduced to American folklore by the German settlers who arrived in the Pennsylvania Dutch country during the 1700s. The arrival of the “Oschter Haws”was considered “childhood’s greatest pleasure” next to a visit from Christ-Kindel on Christmas Eve. The children believed that if they were good the “Oschter Haws” would lay a nest of colored eggs.

The children would build their nest in a secluded place in the home, the barn or the garden. Boys would use their caps and girls their bonnets to make the nests. The use of elaborate Easter baskets would come later as the tradition of the Easter bunny spread

From the earliest times, the egg was a symbol of rebirth in most cultures. Eggs were often wrapped in gold leaf or, if you were a peasant, colored brightly by boiling them with the leaves or petals of certain flowers.

German settlers believed a white hare would leave brightly colored eggs for all good children on Easter morning.  Early American children built nests of leaves and sticks in their gardens for the Easter Hare to fill with colored eggs.  By the 19th century in America, the Easter Hare had become the Easter Bunny delighting children with baskets of eggs, chocolates, candy chicks, jelly beans and other gifts on Easter morning. […] [Read More - Click the link to read MORE of the interesting history!]

Live, laugh, love up this fabulous Easter holiday!

Remember the things that are important…

Forget the petty things in life that are not.

It is the season of redemption, of new, ever-lasting life!

Yours.

Don’t squander it.

Instead?

hard core Easter

News Mash: How happy was Jesus? Celebrate Easter ‘hard core’ and find out!

Between the Christians of both the United States and South Korea?

A battle rages.

A battle of opinions that is, especially when it comes to how the Christians, in their corresponding countries…

View the happiness, or lack there of, of their Savior, Jesus Christ.

[via LiveScience] Was Jesus Happy? Americans Think So

Christianity is the dominant religion in both South Korea and the United States. But a new study finds that believers in these two cultures view the central figure of their religion quite differently.

Americans are more likely to associate Jesus Christ with positive terms such as “love” and “amazement” compared with South Koreans, who are more likely to associate the founder of Christianity with words like “sacrifice,” “blood” and “suffering.” The results held true for both Christians and non-Christians in each culture, according to study researcher Shigehiro Oishi, a psychologist at the University of Virginia. [Read More]

And I don;t know about you guys?

But I think I am going to have to generally side with the South Koreans here.

Cause serious, the big JC was NAILED to a tree…

How freaking “happy” could he be?

[via DailyMail] Christians were nailed to crosses in the Philippines today in a grim Good Friday reenactment of Jesus’s suffering.

Thousands of people watched as 17 devoted Catholics were ‘crucified’ in the gruesome annual ritual.

Church leaders have condemned the practice which they believe are a distortion of the true Easter message.

Nine men were crucified in Pampanga province’s San Pedro Cutud village today, while at least eight others were crucified in neighbouring villages.

The annual event – which dates back to the 1950s – drew an estimated crowd of 10,000 worshippers.

Many take part to atone for sins, pray for the sick or for a better life, or to give thanks for what they believe were miracles.

Ruben Enaje, a painter, 51, took part in the crucifixions for the 26th time today. He began taking part in the annual event to give thanks after he survived falling from a building.

‘This is not just for fun or for money. This is a calling,’ he told Filipino website Tempo.[Read More]

Just going from modern examples, mind you…

From people experiencing a TAD of what he wen through?

Gonna have to say, that uh no…

Happiness?

Not so much.

That doesn’t discount the love, of course, but ‘happy’…

Just not seeing ‘the happy’.

celebrating easter

News Mash: Do those who celebrate Easter know about the Paschal Full Moon?

Easter comes on, seemingly, a different day every year.

Question is…

Do you know why?

Well, you see, as crazy as it seems…

It all has to do with the full moon.

Lunacy!

[via Scientific American] The first full moon of spring is usually designated as the Paschal Full Moon or the Paschal Term.  Traditionally, Easter is observed on the Sunday after the Paschal Full Moon. If the Paschal Moon occurs on a Sunday, Easter is the following Sunday. [Photos: Full Moon Captivates Skywatchers in February 2012]

Following these rules, we find that the date of Easter can fall as early as March 22 and as late as April 25. Pope Gregory XIII decreed this in 1582 as part of the Gregorian calendar. So according to the current ecclesiastical rules, Easter Sunday in 2012 is to be celebrated April 8.

Interestingly, these rules also state that the vernal equinox is fixed on March 21, despite the fact that from the years 2008 through 2101, at European longitudes it actually will occur no later than March 20.

Adding additional confusion is that there is also an “ecclesiastical” full moon, determined from ecclesiastical tables, whose date does not necessarily coincide with the “astronomical” full moon, which is based solely on astronomical calculations. In 1981, for example, the full moon occurred on Sunday, April 19, so Easter should have occurred on the following Sunday, April 26. But based on the ecclesiastical full moon, it occurred on the same day of the astronomical full moon, April 19!

Hence, there can sometimes be discrepancies between the ecclesiastical and astronomical versions for dating Easter. In the year 2038, for instance, the equinox will fall on March 20, with a full moon the next day, so astronomically speaking, Easter should fall on March 28 of that year. In reality, however, as mandated by the rules of the church, Easter 2038 will be observed as late as it can possibly come, on April 25. [Read More]

But try to tell a Christian that one of their holiest days of the year?

Is determined by pagan science…

It won’t go over well, for you, at all.

My advice?

Don’t bother.

[via Live Science]

[Read More]

Most not in the ‘know’ as to how such things are determined?

Unlikely…

To believe you anyway.

a woman member

Aporia Politico: With Easter, comes the realization that its golf season – Obama must be so happy!

This time of the year, when the grass is green and the flowers are blooming?

It heralds in the feelings of splendid Easter tidings!

Oh…

And the realization that its golf season!

You’ve all heard it…

Obama loves golf.

In fact he loves it so much?

He goes like ALL THE TIME!

Makes one wonder just how his love for the game will be reflected by his actions…

NEXT!?

[via Weekly World News] President Barack Obama has agreed to play in the final two rounds of the Masters.

It will be the first time a sitting President (or any President) will compete in the Masters, but President Obama loves golf so much that he is willing to put aside his busy schedule and team up with Tiger Woods for two rounds of competitive golf.

“The President is confident that the other golfers will defer to him on the golf course and he is looking forward to wearing the green jacket on Sunday,” said a source in the White House.

President Obama has a 17 handicap, but he is still going to be placed at the top of the leader board.

“The President deserves to be recognized for his golf skills, he is entitled to a green jacket.  It’s his to lose.”

Sources in the White House said that he would be willing to share a small portion of the $1.44 million prize for the Masters with the other golfers.  ”The President believes in sharing his wealth and he will donate up to $20,000 to be divided all the other golfers participating in the Master.  ”He’s being very generous.” [Read More]

Obama in the Masters?

Oh…

Probably not.

But it sure would be fun to see that golfing battle, eh?

Instead, however, Obama is undertaking a headier challenge than the mere Masters…

Southerners.

Yikes.

Yep, Obama is taking on a the traditions of an ‘Old Boys Club’, deep in the heart of the South.

And with Mitt’s help?

These Yankees will claim victory for their cause!

Right…Right?

Yeah…

Still?

*no*

Probably not.

[via AP] A White House spokesman said Thursday that President Barack Obama believes women should be admitted as members to the all-male Augusta National, home of the Masters golf tournament.

White House press secretary Jay Carney told reporters that Obama’s “personal opinion is that women should be admitted” to the golf club. Carney said it was “up to the club to decide” but Obama told him he personally thinks women should be welcome.

“We’re kind of long past the time when women should be excluded from anything,” Carney said.

Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, Obama’s likely challenger in the fall, said “of course” he would allow women in “if I could run Augusta.”

“Of course. I am not a member of Augusta. I don’t know if I would qualify. My golf game is not that good,” Romney told reporters as he chatted with supporters after a campaign stop in Pennsylvania. “If I could run Augusta, which isn’t likely to happen, of course I’d have women.”

One of the club’s longtime sponsors, IBM, has a new female CEO, Virginia Rometty. The last four CEOs at IBM, all male, have been invited to be members.

The chairman of Augusta National this week has said the club will decide for itself whom to allow into its ranks. [Read More]

That last line, in other words, “No.”

Not surprising, knowing Southerners, like I do…

And knowing how much they LOVE there traditions?

The chances of a woman becoming a member of Augusta Golf Club is about as likely as Obama ACTUALLY playing in the Masters.

No matter how much people would enjoy seeing it…

Get a grip people, it’s just not going to happen.

Ever.

the blossom time of souls

Easter: Stronger than the wrong, the right, the blossom time of souls where eternity thins to gossamer!

Tomb, thou shalt not hold Him longer;
Death is strong, but Life is stronger;
Stronger than the dark, the light;
Stronger than the wrong, the right…
~Phillips Brooks, “An Easter Carol”

[Source]

On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer.  ~Douglas Horton