zombie putin

News Mash: Sorry, Zombies beat ‘mind-control’ any day!


Technology using light to control the brain…

From the outset (besides creepy)?

Sounds like a cool idea.

[via LiveScience] How to Use Light to Control the Brain

In a new study, published in Nature, a group of researchers from MIT showed for the first time that it is possible to activate a memory on demand, by stimulating only a few neurons with light, using a technique known as optogenetics. Optogenetics is a powerful technology that enables researchers to control genetically modified neurons with a brief pulse of light.[...]

In 2010, optogenetics was named the scientific Method of the Year by the journal Nature Methods. The technology was introduced in 2004 by a research group at Stanford University led by Karl Deisseroth, a collaborator on this research. The critical advantage that optogenetics provides over traditional neuroscience techniques, like electrical stimulation or chemical agents, is speed and precision. Electrical stimulation and chemicals can only be used to alter neural activity in nonspecific ways and without precise timing. Light stimulation enables control over a small subset of neurons on a millisecond time scale.

Over the last several years, optogenetics has provided powerful insights into the neural underpinnings of brain disorders like depression, Parkinson’s disease, anxiety, and schizophrenia. Now, in the context of memory research, this study shows that it is possible to artificially stimulate a few neurons to activate an old memory, controlling an animals’ behavior without any sensory input. [...] [Read More]

It’s one we will never get to use…

Because Putin has ‘psychotronic’ guns, which apparently turn people into Zombies?

Which he thinks is “one part hoot, two parts nanny!”

[via Weekly World News] The Russians have developed mind-bending ‘psychotronic’ guns that can effectively turn people into zombies.

And Vladimir Putin loves them!!

The futuristic weapons – which will attack the central nervous system of their victims – are being developed by the country’s scientists.

They could be used against Russia’s enemies and, perhaps, its own dissidents by the end of the decade.

Mr Putin added: “Such high-tech weapons systems will be comparable in effect to nuclear weapons, but will be more acceptable in terms of political and military ideology.”

Plans to introduce the super- weapons were announced quietly last week by Russian defence minister Anatoly Serdyukov, fulfilling  a little-noticed election campaign pledge by president-elect Putin. [Read More]

And this gun very much kills…

As dead as the brain-dead zombies it creates?

Any viability of the “brain control via strobe light” deal.

Now…

Ask me if I am concerned?

*pushes Emergency Pizza Button*

Nope.

Not at all.

I’m perfectly content.

And now?

Just waiting on my pizza.

Do your worst, Zombies!

4 comments on “News Mash: Sorry, Zombies beat ‘mind-control’ any day!

    • I know, me too! When they used to sell the paper in the grocery stores, I used to buy them all them time, and just crack up the whole time reading it! It was always an Entertaining read. I was so sad when the stores that I go to stopped selling them. Then one day? I stumbled upon their website on the net, and suddenly my newsday was no longer quite so bleak. I check them out every day to see if I can blend in one of the crazy stories to a News Mash post… I mean come on, how could I pass up THAT perfect opportunity to be a part of what I enjoy so very much? :) Love them!

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